I Come Apart
by 24isthebest
Summary: Avery and Juliette have been together and in love for a year now, against all odds. Will that change when Sean Butler shows up at Juliette's door? Avery/Juliette/Sean triangle, but of course a Juliette and Avery story overall. Chapter 7 updated!
1. Chapter 1

"Babe, hurry up you're gonna be late!" She yelled, pouring out the coffee into two cups for both of them.

"Damn, it's already quarter after? Rayna and I are supposed to meet before the artist comes in, which means I should have left ten minutes ago." He said, pulling on his jacket as he ran into the kitchen. "There better not be any damn traffic." He made a move for the coffee mug until Juliette pulled it away.

"You forget your socks."

Looking down at his bare feet, he groaned, moving back towards the bedroom. "You're gonna have to put that in a travel mug for me, I'll take it to go!" His voice traveled as he ran back to the bedroom.

"You know," She called out, opening the top cabinet where she knew the mug was, "You really should set your alarm earlier, then you can avoid all this in the morning." She stood on her tip-toes,, trying to reach for travel mug in sight. Reaching her fingers out, she stretched as far as she could, still not reaching it.

Suddenly, she felt a warmth pressing from behind her, reaching over her body and grabbing the mug for her.

"Pretty sure it had nothing to do with the alarm and everything to do with someone keeping me up all night." She felt his breath on her neck and chills ran down her spine like a hot heat, pooling right in her gut.

"Avery Barkley, what are you implying?" She turned her body, pressing her lower half against his. She saw his eyes glaze over a little so she shifted her body up, giving him friction that she knew he was enjoying. "If you're complaining…"

She was cut off by the swift motion of his hands gripping her upper thighs, hoisting her up on the granite countertop. The quickness of his movements made her shiver in excitement and arousal. Opening the ties of her robe, he spread kisses around her collarbone moving further down to her breasts.

With every further movement downward, she could feel her breathing getting more rapid and her legs instinctively opening wider to accommodate him closer. He knew exactly what to do to turn her on at all times of the day.

After almost a year of dating officially, Avery had finally moved his stuff into her house. He had held on to his own apartment for quite a while, until they both finally came to the realization that he hadn't seen the inside of his apartment in months. Coming home yesterday and seeing him put away his stuff in her drawers was like an out of body experience. Just a few years ago, the thought of any man coming in and making a home in her house would have freaked her out. But seeing him put away his clothes, making his presence permanent in her life made her heart flutter.

And when her eyes filled with tears seeing his stupid t-shirts in her drawer, he knew exactly why. He always knew exactly what was going on in her head.

Not to mention he was damn good in bed. She thought she had been around the neighborhood and seen it all, but it was all different with Avery.

He already had her losing control, as she wrapped his legs around his, trying to get as much contact as she could. Her need for him had her body humming.

"God Avery, stop teasing me." She let out breathlessly, opening her legs even wider. He trailed his mouth back up to her neck, as she laced her fingers in his hair, pulling his head closer.

"You sure?" She could feel him smirk against her neck.

"Yes." Her voice was laced with lust, even she could hear it. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for what was coming next.

"Alright then." He let his hands trail down the length of her body, stopping at the belt of her robe, tying it back up.

She opened her eyes incredulously. "Seriously?"

He had taken a few steps back and had that damn smirk on his face, like he was holding back a laugh. "What? You said to stop teasing."

She was deadpan. "You are the absolute worst."

"You didn't seem to think so just a few seconds ago."

"Screw you."

"Don't you wish?" His smirk only grew wider, as he poured the coffee into the travel mug, still not breaking eye contact with her. Here she was, horny as hell, and he was teasing her.

"You know what the sad thing is? I'm so turned on right now that even you pouring that coffee is making me hot."

He burst out laughing, putting down the coffee and stepping in between her legs again, kissing her nose. "My irresistible charm huh?"

She pouted. "Your ego seriously needs a reality check."

"I think its fine." He sighed. "But in all seriousness, I actually have to go. I was already late before we started this and now I'm really late."

She slammed her head lightly against the cabinets behind her. "Can't you just tell Rayna you got into a car accident or something?"

"Yeah, probably not appropriate. You do remember her accident right?"

She closed her eyes again, groaning. "Trust me, I'm not thinking about freaking Rayna James right now. " The heat between her legs hadn't disappeared in the slightest, damn Avery to hell. "I guess I'll just have to take care of myself this morning instead."

She saw him grip the mug a little tighter. She had him at that mental image.

She untied her robe, letting him see her again. "You know, I don't have to meet with Glenn until 10. So I have plenty of time." She ran her hands up and down her thighs slowly, as she saw his gaze fixated on her. "But you're right, you are going to be late. So go on, have a nice day!" She tilted her head, giving him the brightest smile, while internally laughing. She knew she was torturing him, and she loved it.

Now it was his turn to groan. "You are so much better at this than I am, you know that right?"

She licked her lips slowly. "I pretty much invented the art of teasing, so serves you right for leaving me high and dry."

He spread out her robe farther, letting it drop from her shoulders completely. "I think I can go a half hour late. It's not that important of a client." His hands grazed over her shoulders, his eyes fixated on her body.

She threw her head back and laughed straight from her gut. "That wasn't even hard convincing Avery. Toughen up."

"You know I can't say no to you." His gaze moved towards her eyes intently. "I love you."

Hearing him say that never ceased to make her stomach flip. She let her hand slide up his face, stroking his cheek gently. "I love you too. And that's why you should go to work." She jumped off the counter, tying up her robe.

"Are you sure?" He looked like a dog denied his treats.

"I'm sure babe. Go be the best producer Highway 65 has ever seen."

He sighed. "Let me just grab my keys and then I'll run out."

As he walked away, she realized that she still had a stupid smile plastered on her face. Sometimes she couldn't help it around him.

In the distance, a doorbell rang and shook her out of her train of thought. "I got it!" she yelled, tying up her robe fast. Maybe Glenn decided to come over earlier than she thought? Had she gotten the times mixed up?

She ran to the door, tying her robe a little tighter in a knot. "Glenn, I thought we were meeting at 10."

"I'm not Glenn." The deep vibrato rang out.

Her heart dropped as she looked at the face standing outside the door. She blinked a couple times, making sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. "You're right, you aren't Glenn."

It was Sean Butler. Standing outside her door.

"Sean." She had a tight smile as she moved in for a brief hug. "What a surprise!"

He smiled back at her in the way that used to make her heart beat a little faster. And it still sort of did. She squashed the feeling of the warmth of his hug, letting her eyes graze over his body. "I was in town, and I thought I'd chance the possibility that you'd be home."

"Yep I am." She crossed her arms, eyeing the single rose in his hand pointedly.

"Sorry, I figured I couldn't go empty-handed and I thought this would be safe." He extended the flower to her.

Grabbing it tentatively, she looked at it instead of looking at him. It was a yellow rose, her favorite.

"Is that Glenn?" She heard Avery walk up and stop behind her.

"Why does everyone keep thinking I'm Glenn?" Sean replied, laughing tightly. He outstretched his hand towards Avery. "Sean Butler, nice to meet you."

She saw Avery eye the outstretched hand warily, before grabbing it. "Avery Barkley, same to you."

A painful silence filled the atmosphere, where both men were sizing each other up. She rolled her eyes. Jesus Christ, men were so stupid. She cleared her throat, breaking the silence. "Sean, my manager is coming over soon, so I'm going to have to get ready."

"Of course." Sean said, blushing a little. "I was wondering if you were free for lunch today. I'm in town for the month on break, and I wanted to catch up with you." He turned to Avery. "If it's alright with you of course."

Avery chuckled. "Juliette doesn't need my permission." He turned to her. "Now I'm really late, so I hate to do this but I have to run. I'll see you tonight." He gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, letting his lips linger a bit before turning to Sean. "Nice meeting you, I apologize but I've gotta run."

"No need to apologize, hopefully this isn't the last time we meet." Sean replied with a short wave, moving out of the way for Avery to get through the door towards his car. They both watched his car leave the driveway before Sean continued. "So, lunch today?"

She sighed, cutting the pleasantries. "Sean, we didn't exactly end on the best terms. Why are you doing this?" Why now? A million questions ran through her head. Questions she wasn't sure she wanted answers to.

He tilted his head. "That's exactly why I am here. We have a lot to talk about, and a lot I have to apologize for." His eyes shone earnestly, and she remembered the intense love she had felt for him not that long ago, even if it felt like a lifetime ago. "Please, it would mean a lot to me if you would just have one meal with me, so we can really talk."

She bit her lip. "Fine. Pick me up at 1." What could one lunch hurt?


	2. Chapter 2

So there's a lot of Sean in this chapter, but I had to write it to establish the story. This is a J/A story, I promise!

Please read and review let me know if you guys are enjoying the story!

* * *

She took a couple deep breaths before entering the restaurant. It was a classy brunch café with an outdoor seating area that was completely gated. This was definitely one of those places in Nashville that catered to the upper class and those who didn't want to be spotted by paparazzi. She hadn't been to a place like this in a while.

As Sean talked to the hostess, she took time to fully examine his appearance. He still had that tall muscular build, and he had only gotten more handsome since the last time she saw him…

She shook her head, not wanting to think about the last time she saw him in that courtroom. The car ride over here had been painful, with him trying to make small talk and her trying to remember anything but the last words he had said to her.

_You__ know, __you once told me__ that I __wouldn't like you__ very much __if I got to know you. You were right._

She was jolted from her thoughts by Sean's hand on the small of her back, leading her towards the table. She walked a little faster out of his grip, tailing the waiter right to their table, plopping herself down into the seat.

Why was she nervous? She was Juliette Barnes! Nothing scared her.

"So," she said carefully. "What's good here?"

He drummed his fingers on the table. "Not sure, I was going to ask you the same question."

"I've never been here before." She looked around, seeing the high class of Nashville around here. "How did you get a reservation here?"

"I just called. My parents frequent this place quite a bit." He cleared his throat. "I thought you might like it here."

"I don't get out much anymore." She admitted. "Between all the press and preparation for my new album, I feel like I haven't seen any of Nashville other than radio interviewers and publicity teams recently."

"Right." He replied. "Is the album ready for release? I forgot to tell you, I loved your last album."

She fiddled with her fingers under the table. "You listened to my last album?"

"Of course." He said cheekily. "I did tell you my sister loved your music. Still does."

"Right." She smiled, thinking of his sister and how open she had been to accepting her at the time.

"I think my sister played that "Dreams" song about a thousand times." He laughed. "I could probably tell you every lyric of that song."

She smiled. "Avery and I actually wrote that song together. That one is really special to me."

The waiter came over to take their order, breaking their conversation. Once their order was taken, a silence came between them.

She played with the edge of her napkin, while he moved around the glassware on the table. As time went on, she grew more and more frustrated with the silence. Finally, she spoke, "Sean, I'm sorry, but I'm going to be honest. This is painful. Did you want to actually talk or not?"

He sighed, looking at her for a few seconds before continuing. "Sorry, I'm just nervous about all of this. It's been strange seeing you again in person after all this time."

"It's strange for me seeing you too." She interjected. "You really surprised me this morning."

"I've been working up the courage to see you for a while now. I wanted to talk about what happened between us."

She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "What did you want to talk about?"

He leaned back as well to mimic her posture. "I know the last time we saw each other, I said some harsh words to you."

She internally scoffed. Understatement of the year.

"I really just wanted to apologize to you. I know you had a lot going on, and I was way out of line to talk to you like that. Sometimes when I talk out of a place of anger, it doesn't come out right. But I've really taken time to see that I was wrong."

She lowered her arms, really listening.

"And I'd really like the chance to be friends." He smiled, waiting for her response.

Friends? Part of her wanted to reject him right off the bat. But not forgiving him would be worse for her. This was something in her life she had never fully gotten closure on, and if anything, she deserved to forgive him for herself.

"You know, a year ago I would have never forgiven you." She sighed, looking him in the eyes. "But I've changed a lot, done a lot of growing up. I'm in a good place in life right now. And us moving towards friendship could be nice."

"I can see that you've changed." He gazed at her, with a look that Juliette couldn't fully read. "I guess Avery is to thank for that?"

"He has sure helped," she smiled, thinking about the presence Avery had in her life. "But at the end of the day, I realized I needed to start trusting myself more."

"That's great." He smiled, as there food came out.

After that, the conversation seemed to flow much easier. They talked about their careers, and for some time she forgot that there was a world outside of just them. She laughed so hard at his embarrassing interview story that she had to press her eyes so tears wouldn't come out.

As they walked out, she found herself not wanting their lunch to end. And when he led her outside and put his hand on the small of her back, she let him.

"You know," He said, turning towards her at the valet booth. "It's such a nice day. Why don't we walk downtown for a little?"

She internally debated. She had the time, and Avery didn't get back home until late. "Sure, just for a little though. I should get back soon."

He smiled bright, leading her towards the center of town. Silently, they walked side by side, soaking in the sun and the fresh air.

A cold burst of air caused her to shiver, and he wordlessly took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders, letting his fingers linger a bit longer than they should have.

Was what she was doing wrong? It was just a friendly walk with a friend, right?_ A friend she used to be married to_.

"Look at that." He leaned closer, pointing ahead.

She looked over and saw a young man, probably 16 or 17, with his guitar in front of the Ryman Auditorium. He had his guitar case open, collecting tips. She smiled as he started Rayna's "This Love Ain't Big Enough."

She remembered the first time she played at Ryman; she had been shaking with excitement the entire time. Even standing outside the building filled her with chills. Seeing young hopeful talent trying to make their dream a reality was exactly what made Nashville different than any other city in the world. It's what made Nashville home. The heart of the city never stopped beating.

She turned to look up at Sean, who had a smirk on his face. "What?" She questioned. She didn't like that look.

"Let's do something fun." Before she could protest, he dragged her over to the performer, who had gained a bit of a crowd. As they moved closer, she could hear the gasps. It wasn't everyday that Juliette Barnes showed up in downtown unaccompanied by her bodyguard.

She saw Sean talking to the performer and grabbing his guitar. Smiling, he turned to her. "How about we treat these fine people of Nashville to a Juliette Barnes performance? "Love Like Mine" anyone?" Her eyes narrowed at the song choice, remembering a time where that song meant something between them.

The crowd, which had seemed to multiply exponentially cheered. People started pulling out her phones to record.

Pulling at her dress, she turned her back to the crowd to face Sean. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Come on." he urged. He started playing the opening chords to her song, singing the first verse. His voice came out strong and clear, just like she had remembered. Before she realized, she had joined him, closing her eyes, belting out her lyrics.

Being that close to the crowd and feeling their energy was electrifying. She hadn't played a show this intimate since the beginning of her career. She let herself get lost in her own lyrics and the sound of the guitar. When she finished, she opened her eyes to the cheering crowd. Sean dropped a few large bills into the performer's guitar case, before pushing through the crowd with his hand in hers.

They both ran back towards the restaurant, losing the crowd quickly. "Sean, slow down I can't keep up in these heels!" As if she couldn't jinx herself more, she tripped over her heel, and he caught her quickly before she fell.

His hands wrapped around her waist to steady her. "You alright?"

She lifted her leg to look at her ankle. "It's going to swell soon, I know it." She said exasperated. Damn heels.

"Let me carry you back to the restaurant."

"I can walk Sean, I'm fine."

"It's the least I can do, I did cause you to trip. Jump on my back!" He crouched down so she could jump on his back to be carried. Realizing he wasn't going to quit, she hopped on, and they chatted lightly all the way back to the restaurant. She saw the sun start to go down and realized they had spent the entire day together.

This was turning out to be strangest day, certainly not the way she expected it to go.

* * *

"Sean, I don't need you to carry me to my door too. I am able to walk you know."

"What kind of gentlemen would I be if I made you limp to the door?" He stated jokingly. This time he carried her in his arms instead of on his back. "Give me your keys I'll get the door."

She rolled her eyes, handing him her keys. He balanced her, shifting her entire weight on to one arm, unlocking the door at the same time.

"Now you're just showing off." She rolled her eyes, pushing the door open with her hands.

He laughed as he walked into the house, stopping abruptly.

She turned to see what he was looking at. "Avery!" she said surprised. Sean let her down slowly. "You're home earlier than I thought! I thought you said you were gonna be home late tonight?" She gained her footing, limping towards the couch.

"I left early today. What happened?" Avery sat next to her on the couch, looking at her ankle and then back at Sean.

"It was my fault. I just ran a little too fast for her to keep up."

"Oh please," she grumbled. "I'd like to see you run in these shoes."

Avery lifted up her leg into his lap, looking at her ankle closer. "It's already swelling, I'll get some ice for it." He stood up, extending his hand to Sean. "Thanks for bringing her home safely."

Sean grabbed the extended hand, shaking it firmly. "No problem. It was my pleasure."

"Right." Avery smiled tightly, walking into the kitchen for ice.

"Juliette, I'll see you around?" He waved towards her.

"Sure. Thanks for today." She smiled, watching him back up towards the door. Giving another small wave, he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Avery came back in with a bag of frozen vegetables in hand. "I found some peas in the freezer. " He lifted her leg on to his lap again, pressing the bag tightly on her ankle.

She suppressed a groan of pain, but she must have flinched because he lightened the pressure. "Avery, it's not _that_ bad of a sprain."

He gave her a look. "Jules, it's already swelling. You have to ice it all night. Did you really trip that badly?"

She leaned back into the cushions, so that she could see his face better. "We were sort of running away from a crowd, and I tripped trying to keep up."

"Was this when you guys sang in front of the Ryman?" She raised her eyebrow. "Glenn called, and then I saw the video. You guys went viral in about an hour."

She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. "Already viral?"

"You are an country superstar and he is a professional football player. You guys are recognizable."

She sighed. "Also, figures Glenn would have a freak out. I haven't even checked my phone all day."

"You know how he gets. He called me after two hours of trying to reach you. I told him I would tell you to call him back once you came home."

She grabbed her phone from her purse. 12 missed calls from Glenn, 6 from Emily, and 2 from Avery. She searched herself and sure enough the video popped up immediately, along with a slew of pictures of her in Sean's jacket, walking side by side with him, and a few of them holding hands running away. TMZ already had articles speculating that she and the football star were back together.

She threw her phone on the couch, groaning. "Glenn is going to kill me."

He rubbed her leg a little. "At least it was a great performance. You guys sounded amazing. I haven't heard "Love Like Mine" in a long time."

She tilted her head, smiling at him in gratitude. "It did feel good to just perform like that. It was kinda electric, just me and the fans, right there you know?"

He leaned down, kissing her exposed knee. "It was great to see you so free. And hey, all publicity is good publicity right?"

She gave him a look. "Not with me. Pretty sure Glenn prays every night that I don't do something stupid that he has to fix. It's why he calls me practically ever hour, like a damn sober companion."

"You know he means well." He let out a little laugh, looking at her ankle a little closer. "So, I'm guessing lunch with Sean was good?"

"It was." She played with the ends of her hair. "Better than I thought it was going to be."

"I'm glad." He lifted her leg, getting up and walking to the kitchen.

How much of her lunch with Sean was she obligated to tell him about? He was holding back with asking questions, she could tell. He was trying not to push her. But she knew him, he was curious. She had never actually told him about her past with Sean. He didn't know they had actually gotten married and that they had the marriage annulled. She didn't even really want to tell him about Deacon, but that one had slip from Rayna at some point and had turned into an awkward conversation at the Bluebird. He knew about Dante and Charlie of course, but still. This whole situation was new to her, how was she supposed to respond? How much should she share and when? This whole committed relationship thing was full of unknown territory.

"I bought takeout on the way home from the studio." He sat down, handing her a carton and chopsticks. "Chicken and broccoli? I just warmed it up again, it was a little cold."

She put the food on the floor, sliding one leg over his so she was straddling his lap. She raised her hands to cup his face, kissing him softly. A slow warm feeling filled her body as his arms wrapped around her, cupping her petite frame. Her heart felt full as he trailed his hands up her back securely.

Pulling back, she closed her eyes and rested her head in crevice of his neck, just feeling his chest rise against her body. She felt safe in his arms. "Thank you."

He pulled her closer. Resting his chin on top of her head, he smirked. "It's just chicken and broccoli."

"No you idiot." She masked her smile with a glare that she couldn't quite hold. "Just… thanks for being you."

"Well thanks for being you too." He kissed the top of her head before resting his chin there again.

"So, tell me about work. How late were you?"

"I was about an hour late, but thankfully so was Rayna."

She smirked. "I'm guessing her and Deacon had the same kind of morning we did."

"Not something I want to think about Jules."

"I'm just saying, Deacon is pretty handsy when he wants to be." She laughed, fully imagining the look of disgust on Avery's face if she could see it.

"Again, definitely not something I want to think about. Ever. It's bad enough that I know you two have slept together." She felt him shudder a little. "Anyway, being late didn't matter because I got taken off the new band and reassigned."

"Wait what?" she opened her eyes, pulling her head out of his neck and facing him. "She reassigned you? But you've been prepping that bands' material for weeks!"

"Yeah, well apparently Scarlett asked to get me to work on her album with her, so Rayna wants me to devote my full attention to that one. "

She stiffened a little instinctively. "Scarlett requested you?" Scarlett's last album had been a massive hit in the indie country circuit, and there was a lot of buzz on her next studio album. Her plucky personality had won over many, and gave her a pretty sizable fan following.

"Yeah. Apparently Scarlett wants everything in a small circle, so it's really only me, Rayna and her working on it."

"Interesting." She said tightly, trying to swallow the jealousy rising up. She couldn't help it.

"All the songs are basically written, but it's going to be a process recording it, so it's going to be a busy few months. But I think it's some of the best work she's ever done." He smiled proudly, all while staring at her reaction.

"And you couldn't say no?" She snapped without realizing her voice had taken that tone. Did he not think it was weird that his ex-girlfriend specifically requested him in the studio with her?

He looked at her carefully and responded slowly. "Juliette. She asked for me. She is Highway 65's prominent artist. My boss placed me on this project. So no, I couldn't exactly say no."

"Alright then." She replied tightly, sliding off his lap on to the cushion next to him. Grabbing the frozen peas, she focused on icing her ankle again, not looking at him.

"Come on Jules," he craned his head down to meet her gaze, "This isn't that big of a deal."

She looked up sharply. "It isn't that big of a deal that your ex-girlfriend wants to spend day and night in a studio with just you?"

He laughed a little, which only made her blood boil more. "You're acting like the studio is some sort of love-pad or something. You of all people should know how un-sexy studio time is. And we have both moved on, we're friends."

"Are she and Gunnar still together?" Those two were on and off more than a light switch.

He sighed. "I think they might be taking a break. But who knows?"

Great. She gripped the bag of peas tighter.

"Hey." He lifted her chin, forcing her gaze to meet his. "Have a little faith in me ok?"

She pulled her chin out of his grasp. "I wish you had just taken the job at Edgehill." As soon as she said it, she knew she had screwed up.

She saw him stiffen. "Are we going to have that argument again?"

"No."

"Then why would you bring it up?"

She couldn't turn back now. "You know why."

"You know," he sighed, "Scarlett isn't as horrible as you think she is. And Highway 65 is where I want to be."

"I know, I didn't mean to bring that up, I'm sorry. It's been a long day." She sighed. "I really should call Glenn and Emily back before they file a missing persons report or something."

He grabbed her phone, handing it to her. "Go ahead, I'm gonna answer some emails."

Looking at her phone, she saw one unread text message from Sean. It was a link to the video of their street performance, with the message _You sounded more beautiful than ever! Let's see each other again soon!_ Her heart fluttered a little reading the message, until she realized and squashed the feelings fast. Was it ok for him to be texting her that? Without more thought into it, she answered. _Thanks! I'm free tomorrow again if you are interested._

"Everything alright?" Avery replied, laptop in hand, looking at her curiously.

"Yep, everything's fine." She replied, deleting the message from her phone log.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, so be prepared, this chapter has a bit of angst in it. But I really want to flesh out Juliette's defensive nature that she falls back on often. (Also quick note, in the universe of this story, Juliette is still with Edgehill).

Read and respond, tell me if you guys are liking this story or not! I really take into account what you guys say you like/dislike. Thanks! :)

* * *

"And here on the radio today for our morning show, I've got our favorite Juliette Barnes. How it goin' girl?" The radio host's deep twang rang out.

"Well Tom, things have been going real well, thanks for having me on as always." She flashed her teeth, shining her trademark perfect smile over at him.

He showed his own teeth back. That's what this game was. Be nice to these people and do what they want. They hold all the cards, and behind their plastic smiles was the glimmer of hope that she would screw up and say something controversial to boost their ratings. She sat back in her chair, tall and confident. "I have to say Jewel…can I call you that?"

She tried to hide her inward disgust at that nickname. The only nickname she had ever had was Jules and the only people that had ever used it were her mother and Avery. "You can call me whatever your pretty heart wants." She batted her lashes a little.

"Aren't you just the sweetest? And let me tell you pretty girl, you're single is flaming on the charts right now. People are really lovin' it! Tell us about this sort of new direction you are heading in with this single? Is the rest of the album is going to be like this?"

Finally, talking about the music. This one she could do. "It really does mean a lot to me that people are loving my new single. I think this single, and really the whole album, kind of represent where I am in my life right now, and I can't wait for my fans who have stuck with me from the beginning to really see the evolution of me as an artist and a person."

He leaned forward, interested. "So, what was your approach to this album? Because you wrote every song on it, and so beautifully might I add. Who would have ever thought you could write like that?"

She bit her tongue. "You know, I'm a firm believer that once inspiration hits, the creativity can't be stopped. I feel like I'm finally in a place in life where I can be really honest with my lyrics, and share what's important to me through my music."

"Interesting. You know Juliette, we have known each other for a long time. I feel like I've watched you grow up and mature right in front of my eyes."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "It's always a pleasure coming on here Tom, you know that." She smiled bright.

"And because we know each other so well, I have to say, you're looking quite happy these days. Is there someone you're going home to at night that's got you smiling? That inspiration can't come from nowhere." He chuckled, intent on her response.

She knew the drill. "All I'll say is I'm in a happy place." She never mentioned Avery's name, out of respect for him. It wasn't exposure that he would appreciate. "You know what I'm saying, right Tom? I'm sure your wife would love to hear you gush on Nashville Radio." deflecting the topic, motioning to his wedding ring.

"Of course she would. But I gotta ask," he continued, leaning forward in his seat. "I think we all saw that you've been pictured with a certain football star recently. One that we are all quite familiar with. Any confirmation you'd like to share?"

She gripped the edge of the counter. _He was asking about Sean?_ "I'm not sure what you're referring to." She tried to keep the hospitable tone in her voice, but it was starting to falter.

"We're just asking the question America is wondering Juliette." He raised his eyebrows, not letting the topic go.

_Well America should mind their own damn business_. But she was quick to respond. "Like I said Tom, I'm happy."

Too quick.

She could feel Glenn's gaze on her from outside the sound proof room. That was pretty much a confirmation.

His smile grew like a Cheshire Cat. "Right. So you're happy. And there you have it folks. Juliette Barnes, always a pleasure talkin' with you sweetheart."

"Pleasure's all mine." She choked out, mentally preparing herself for what was to come. She had all but confirmed getting back together with Sean Butler.

And now that was out into the world. Great. Walking out, she met Glenn's disapproving look in the waiting room.

"What?" Silence. "It was an accident!"

He sighed, rubbing the wrinkles on his forehead. "It's alright, you didn't technically say anything out of the ordinary."

She threw her body on the couch face first, groaning. "No, I just basically told everyone listening that I was dating my ex again. Why would that be a problem?"

"It's alright, people can think what they want. You've been dating Avery this whole time and you've always given the same answer. So what if people twist your response? You didn't say anything wrong."

"Because that's worked so well for me in the past." Her phone buzzed near Glenn, but she couldn't bring herself to lift her face out of the couch cushions just yet. "Glenn can you pass me my phone? It's probably Avery. I'm supposed to stop by the studio and pick him up."

"Maybe he got the update of your new boyfriend?" She lifted her head off the couch just to deliver her death stare towards her manager. "Kidding."

He reached over, grabbing the phone, looking briefly at the name that popped up. "It's not Avery, it's Sean." His voice was filled with something she couldn't quite place.

She got up stiffly, reaching her hand out for her phone. "That'll be all Glenn."

He gave her a look like he wanted to say more, but shook his head instead, handing her the phone and walking out.

She looked at the phone for a few seconds. She could easily ignore this call. But she wouldn't.

"So," she heard his voice fill her ear before she could even get a word in. "We are trending on twitter right now."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Are we?"

"Yeah, apparently we are back together. Sources close to you say that I finally forgave you for the indecision at our wedding and we are happier than ever!"

"Lovely."

"Right? So are you going to break the news to that boyfriend of yours or should I?"

"You're hilarious." Since their lunch, she had Sean had been texting rather frequently, and when they both had free time he would always stop by wherever she was. One time it was her studio, another time a photoshoot. It was nice, having him around, especially since Avery had been so busy working on Scarlett's album recently. But sometimes, he let out comments like that one which made her wonder if this was a good idea.

"What are you doing now? I have the day off."

"I'm picking up Avery from the studio for lunch now."

He laughed a little. "How oddly domestic for Juliette Barnes."

"I don't have much time for spontaneity anymore. Neither does he." She sighed.

"You know what I was thinking about the other day?" He shifted the subject completely, "That day you flew us to Miami on your jet for the day."

She lifted her eyebrows, lowering them when she realized he couldn't see. She remembered that night clearly. And how different her life was now. "That was…" She paused, trying to find the right words, "A long time ago."

"Right." She heard him reply.

* * *

He sighed, clicking on the speaker communication. "Scarlett, we're gonna have to run it one more time."

He could see the fear in her eyes after he said it, as she sipped her water next to her. "Right, let's do it again from the second verse then?"

He clicked the speaker again. "We can take a five minute break if you want?"

He saw her shake her head through the sound proof glass. "No, I can do this." Her fists clenched, like she was preparing for battle.

As she started the verse again, he could tell she wasn't connecting with the music. Her voice sounded beautiful, as it always did, but it was a manufactured sound. The more she sang the notes out, the harder it became to listen to. It was like the music had become clenched in her chest and she was trapping it there by choice. She was trapping her authenticity.

He interrupted her again mid-note. "Scarlett, maybe we should come back to this after lunch. We've been working all morning, and I think you need a break."

"No." She stated adamantly. "I need to get this out, now. It's not gonna work if I don't." Her voice started to break as her eyes darted back and forth, looking anywhere but the sheet music in front of her.

He left the soundboard, walking into the recording area where she was. Stepping on the opposite side of her, he pulled the sheet music off the stand. "Are you gonna tell me what's really going on here, or are we gonna keep pretending like something's not bothering you?"

She was holding back tears, he could see it clearly now. He should have seen it from back in the booth too. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?" He questioned.

"This!" Scarlett raised her voice, motioning around the soundproof booth.

"What do you mean you can't do _this_?" He imitated her hand gesture as well.

She sank to the floor, gripping on to the grains of carpet that lined the booth. "I don't think I can do this album. Everyone is counting on me to make it great." She looked up at him with innocent eyes full of fear. "What if I let everyone down?"

"Scarlett," he crouched down beside her, "Don't let fear get the best of you here. That's all this is, fear. You worked hard on this record. You put your heart and soul into it, and I can firmly say it's the best damn work I've ever seen from you. Don't let the pressure of everything stop you from letting the world hear what you gotta say."

A few tears dropped from her eyes, as she smiled back. "You know, you always did have the right words to say."

"No, you did." He handed her back the sheet music, putting an arm around her shoulder. "You were the songwriter Scarlett. You still are."

She smiled, closing her eyes while taking a deep breath in. "Ok, I'm ready. Let's do this."

At that moment, an idea came to him. "Give me a second." He ran out of the booth, grabbing another producer from the next studio.

He walked back into the booth with a chair, grabbing the sheet music off Scarlett's music stand again. "Scarlett, my buddy Chris over there is just going to record. That's it. I'm gonna sit right in that chair, and you're gonna sing."

Her eyes widened. "I'm gonna sing with you in the booth with me?"

"Remember when I used to make pancakes on Sunday mornings? I would hear you sing from the bathroom, and you always sounded so free." He saw her smile, and her tense shoulders seemed to relax a little. "Pretend we're there. No sheet music, no microphone. Just you and me. Feel the lyrics."

She closed her eyes, and he knew she could feel it. As she opened her mouth, it was like she had been transformed. Gone was the girl scared of her shadow just a few minutes ago. This was an artist who was feeling every note with confidence. As she ad-libbed a little, lifting her hands slightly, he knew she had it.

Finishing her last note, he motioned to Chris to cut the recording. He rose from the chair, giving her a standing ovation. "Now that's what I call a performance. Miss Scarlett O'Conner ladies and gentleman!"

He cupped his hands, imitating a cheering crowd, which garnered a laughing fit from her. She launched herself into his arms, giving him a full hug. "Thanks Avery."

"Anytime." He said pulling back, smiling fully at her.

"Let's go see whether your friend out there liked it!" She practically skipped out of the booth.

Laughing, he trailed behind a bit, picking the sheet music up off the floor. As he knelt down, he heard Scarlett's voice. "Juliette! I didn't know you were here."

Sure enough, as he walked out, he saw Juliette sitting on the couch opposite the soundboards. Her posture was stiff, as was her smile towards Scarlett.

"I just came to pick up Avery for lunch. Rayna said you guys were back here so I just came in and waited."

Lunch. That's right. He looked at the clock on the wall. An hour after he said to come pick him up. "It's already quarter past? Sorry, I lost track of time."

He shot a smile of apology at her, but she either didn't see it or chose not to see it. Her eyes were focused solely on Scarlett, who squirmed a little under her gaze. "It's alright, I can see you and Scarlett were a little busy." She leaned back, crossing her legs. Everything about her body language showed power and confidence, but he knew she was on the defense.

Scarlett practically cowered in her presence. "We really are sorry. Avery has been a big help for my nerves today, and I think we got some great stuff done." She looked over to him and smiled brightly.

"All inexperienced artists get nervous, don't worry. I'm sure your fans find it charming." She titled her head slightly, throwing the words out easily. The insult could be heard loud and clear. He could see Chris raise his eyebrows in surprise.

Scarlett leaned her head down a little, reverting away from the overwhelming icy presence that was Juliette Barnes in this moment.

Leaning forward, Juliette rubbed her legs, getting up nonchalantly. He could see her walls building up with every smooth and calculated movement of her body. "I'm glad you guys all got great work done today. I didn't realize I was interrupting, carry on."

He moved in her path, stopping her from rushing out the door without making it obvious to Scarlett or Chris what he was doing. "Hey guys, why don't we take a break for lunch now? I'm starving, and I'm sure you need a break Scarlett." He put a hand on Juliette's arm, trying to get her attention. What was going on with her right now?

Scarlett nodded quickly. "I'm just gonna have Chris play me the cut one time, and then I'll go grab something to eat. It was great seeing you Juliette."

"Likewise." Before he realized, Juliette had shoved his body to the side with hers, bolting through the door. The force had knocked him off a little, stunning him still. Scarlett and Chris both looked down at the soundboard, pretending to busy themselves with the recording, as he quickly trailed Juliette outside the building into the parking lot.

"Juliette!" She ignored him as she unlocked the car, stepping in.

He quickly stepped into the passenger seat, seeing her grip the steering wheel tightly.

He looked at her incredulously. "What the hell was all that for?"

She shot him a look that could kill. "If you even have to ask that, you might as well just get out of the car now." She unlocked the doors to make a point.

Fury and confusion rose in him. "You just acted like a child who didn't get her way in front of people I work with."

"Oh I'm acting like a child huh?" She turned her body sharply to face him.

"Yeah, you are." He threw back.

Her posture tensed. "Well, I'm sorry that I came to pick you, _my boyfriend_, up for lunch, which was your idea might I add. You aren't the only one busy. I have a lot of stuff going on too. Promoting an album takes up time, but I still made the time for you today." Her phone buzzed on the dashboard, where she had seemingly thrown it. "Besides, I'm sure you would have rather stayed with Scarlett holding her hand as she sang every damn song."

"This is about Scarlett, _again_?" He couldn't believe it. How many times could he reassure her about this? "Juliette, this is my job."

"It's your job to sit in the recording booth with Scarlett sharing stories about when you two were together?"

So she _did_ hear all that. "I was trying to make her feel more comfortable. That's all."

"You know what?" She pointed her finger at him angrily. "I'm tired of everyone treating that girl like she's the center of the universe. Poor freaking Scarlett, has everything given to her and she still can't handle it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Her eyes were clouded over with rage, he could see it. "A _real_ artist doesn't cry in the booth and have her producer come in and comfort her because she's scared. And a _real_ producer doesn't come in and start talking about a time when they were sleeping together!"

It was like she had slapped him in the face. "So I'm not a _real_ producer now?"

She paused a little before continuing. "I'm just saying, who agrees to produce their ex-girlfriend's intimate album like this? Half the song are written about you and you know it."

"Juliette, this is my _job_." He repeated, trying to keep the anger out of his voice.

She slammed her hands against the steering wheel. "I'm so freaking tired of hearing that! You could have said no!"

He stopped and let her words digest. She meant more than just this project; he could feel it. "Said no to what Juliette?"

She didn't answer. The only sound that filled the car was the buzzing of her phone against the dashboard.

"Say it Juliette. Say what we both know you want to say." He couldn't help but taunt her. "Say you're not just talking about this album. What you really mean is I should have said no to Scarlett and no to Highway 65."

Her silence said it all.

He laughed bitterly, filling the car with the sound. "You know what? I'm so tired of this fight. Ever since I turned down Edgehill, you act like I chose Scarlett and Highway 65 over you."

"But you did!" She turned towards him, her eyes slightly brimming with tears. "Don't you see, you still are!" She clenched her hands so tight he saw her knuckles turn white.

He turned his face away. "You know what Juliette, I'm tired of this. How many times can I tell you I love you before you really believe me? How long do we have to be together before it sticks with you that I chose _you_?"

He turned towards her while she looked away towards her phone, staring at it buzzing. He continued anyway. "You know, I didn't chose Highway 65 to spite you." And he really didn't. Edgehill had given him a great deal of incentive to join them, but at the end of the day he chose Highway 65 to express himself in a free and creative environment that didn't label him as Mr. Juliette Barnes. She of all people should know the desire of wanting to establish himself without people making assumptions about how he got there.

She was still focused on the damn phone. Where was her head right now? He reached over, putting his hand on her knee, trying to get her attention.

She finally broke her gaze on her phone, turning towards him. "If you're so _tired_ of this" she motioned between them, "Nobody is begging you to stay."

He pulled his hand back. That was not what he was expecting her to say. "You're taking what I said out of context now." Did she even listen to anything he had said?

"Am I?" she spat. "You told me you are tired of reminding me that you chose to love me."

"Juliette," he started, but she cut him off.

"I'm sorry it's such a burden for you to be with me." He heard her voice crack a little, but she cleared her throat. "I don't need to be treated like this broken toy you keep around because you feel bad." He could see her pushing the barriers up against him. Barriers they had both worked so hard to break down together.

The phone buzzed again, and she stared at it. Again

"Jules," he said softly, regretting this entire fight, "Don't do this."

Instead of listening to him, she grabbed her phone, answering whatever text message she had gotten.

When she was done, her eyes were cold. "Get out Avery."

"Juliette, come on." He pleaded.

"I want you to leave this car right now."

"Well, _I_ want to talk about everything you just said." He stated firmly. Where was all this coming from?

"I told you I was on a strict schedule. I have to go meet someone now." Her body was clenched.

He sighed in resignation. "Fine. But we're going to talk about this at home then, I'll make sure I'm home early tonight." He paused for a second. "I love you."

He tried to catch her gaze, but he could see it clearly. She was gone.

She looked ahead, starting the car. "Right. I'll just see you later."

Sighing, he got out of the car, barely closing the door fully before she drove away.

He ran his hands through his hair, before walking back into the studio.

* * *

Stopping a block away from the studio, she parked under a shaded tree and let out all the emotion she had been feeling, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Seeing Avery with Scarlett always made her see red. The way she clung to him like a sad puppy, and the way he always bent to her every need. Scarlett had this power over everyone around her. She won people over with the plucky innocent spiel. She was stupid for thinking she could ever compare to Scarlett. No matter how hard she tried to be good, it just wasn't in her nature.

And Avery choosing Highway 65 was something she couldn't forget either. He had chosen to work with Scarlett over working with her. But more than that, he had simply chosen _not_ to work with her. From all their times writing together and playing together, she had thought his job offer at Edgehill would be perfect to finally make their musical partnership permanent. There was nothing more freeing than them together, working all day on a song. She thought he had felt the same way, but maybe it didn't mean enough to him. She tried to pretend it didn't sting.

Avery wanted someone who he could come home to and have a stupid perfect life with. Maybe that wasn't her, and maybe one day he would realize that. Her eyes burned as she choked back bile. She wasn't the person who was going to be left behind in the dust ever again.

Without thinking, she picked up her phone, dialing the number that had been trying to reach her. "Hey Sean, yeah everything's fine." She pushed her hair behind her ears. "You up for a little trip to Miami, for old times?" She laughed a little at his response, rubbing her tongue against the front of her teeth. "Nope, he won't be there. Just you and me. I'll meet you in an hour.

* * *

Like/Love/Hate it? Review and let me know :)


	4. Chapter 4

Guys, J/A finally got together on the show! Still dying a lot over it.

Anyway, just a warning, the end of this is M rated, but I felt like I really needed it in there to fully show Juliette slipping back into old habits (one of them being sex as a defense mechanism.) It felt true to the character, so I put it in! Hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter! Please read and review and tell me what you guys liked and hated! I love feedback! :)

Lastly, shout-out to all my fellow J/A writers on this site, I've been loving reading everything you guys write! :)

* * *

"So you gonna let me know what spurred on this trip?" Sean eyed her curiously.

She narrowed her eyes at him, taking the shot of vodka in front of her. Part of her still didn't believe she was in Miami, or that she blew off all her meetings to be here. "I figured it was time to start having some fun again. When _you _make fun of me for being boring, I know something's definitely wrong."

He laughed a little, rubbing his fingers on edge of the glass table. "And your boyfriend? He didn't want to come?"

She had avoided every question Sean had asked about Avery the moment they had stepped on her jet. "This isn't really his scene. Plus, he's probably still at the studio right now."

"It sounds to me like there's trouble in paradise." He said, looking at her strangely.

The loud bass of the music ran through her body, only further exacerbating the racing of anger in her veins as she took another shot. "Yeah, well that's none of your damn business."

He leaned back against the leather booth, lifting his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying, you don't take your ex-husband to a club in Miami when your boyfriend is home in Nashville unless something's driving you away from there. Especially this club." The words he wanted to say were left unsaid.

She didn't know what had driven her to bring them to the same nightclub that she had taken him to when they were just beginning their relationship. Once they landed, she had suggested the club, and he had agreed.

"You aren't technically my ex-husband, we did have an annulment." She took another shot, letting the burning trail down her throat. "And they treat me well here, that's all." And they still did, after years of absence. As soon as the promoters had seen her, they had given her the same private booth she had gotten when she had frequented the place. It was like she had been placed herself back in time in every way.

She called the waitress over. "You interested in a drink? Or are you still a do-good boy?" She looked over at Sean pointedly.

He shook his head. "No drinks for me, I'm still in training season. But you of all people should know that I'm not _that_ guy anymore." He looked straight at her with a look that forced her to avert her gaze.

"Suit yourself. I'll take another two of these." She motioned to her shot glasses, before tousling her hair a little. The waitress nodded in response, walking away to get the shots.

"You know," Sean leaned forward, "You might wanna slow down on those."

She scoffed. "Please, I have a higher tolerance than you do. Don't worry, I can hold my own."

He smirked. "I know you can. I'm just saying…"

She raised her hand to stop him. His incessant questioning was giving her a headache. "Please. Just stop talking."

He leaned back, eyeing her. "Why did you ask me here if you didn't want to talk to me?"

She sighed, not knowing how to answer. "To be honest, I have no idea." Why didn't this feel as good as she thought it was going to? She could feel her phone buzz in her jeans pocket. Not looking at the name, she took it out of her back pocket and threw it in her purse. It was either Glenn or Avery, and there was no way she wanted to talk to either of them right now.

Sean eyed her tense posture. "Do you at least wanna dance?"

Did she? She couldn't get rid of the sinking feeling in her stomach, as she shook her head. "Honestly, I don't think I'm crazy about being here anymore. Can we go outside for a walk? I need some fresh air."

He nodded wordlessly, leading her outside the back entrance. She stumbled a little, gathering her balance. "Hey, you alright?" He asked, grabbing her arm firmly to steady her.

She pushed his arms away. "I'm fine." She crossed her arms, breathing deeply. They crossed the sidewalk outside of the club towards the boardwalk area, overlooking the beach. She held on to the bannister of the boardwalk, staring at the ocean ahead. The waves were tumultuous, like a storm was coming.

"Juliette," she felt a hand on her arm, stroking lightly. "Talk to me, what's going on? Why am I here?"

She laid her head on the bannister, groaning a little. "I don't even know. I got into this huge fight with Avery, and the next thing I really processed was that I was on a jet flying to Miami with you." She could hear people in the far distance, moving around and making a lot of noise. Miami nightlife was abuzz around them, and yet she had never felt so alone.

He cleared his throat. "What was the fight about?"

"I don't even know. Nothing. Everything." Her eyes shone sadly. "I'm sorry I dragged you into my relationship problems."

"I asked didn't I?" He stepped closer and his scent mixed with seawater infiltrated her nostrils.

She lifted her head, shaking the uncomfortable feeling of him being so close. But she couldn't step away. "Yeah well still. We didn't have to fly to Miami for me to tell you about my problems with Avery." A tear fell from her eye before she could hold it back.

"I'd do anything for you." Sean turned towards her, pulling her into his arms. She buried her face in his chest, feeling his arms wrap around her waist pulling her closer.

She sighed deeply. It was nice, being his arms. Having someone who was listening to her. She pulled away, looking up at him.

The way he was looking at her, she _knew_ that look. Before she could pull away, she felt his lips press against hers firmly.

The warmth was a bit intoxicating, as she moved her own lips against his. He lifted her up on the bannister of the boardwalk, letting his tongue further explore her mouth.

There was something about the way he was holding her. It felt so… _wrong_. A chill ran up her spine when she realized what she was doing and where she was.

She shoved Sean as far as she could, pressing a hand against her mouth in horror. _What had she done?_

"Juliette, I'm sorry I…"

"Oh my God." was all she could make out. Her entire body shook. "What did we just do?" She jumped off the bannister, gripping it tightly.

"I think that was pretty obvious."

Her head was spinning. "I have a boyfriend, who I love." What the hell was she thinking?

"You can't deny what's been building up between us again Juliette. I still love you."

Her jaw dropped. "_Excuse me_?"

"You heard me." He moved even closer. "I didn't plan for it to happen again, but it did. The more time I spent with you over these months… all those feelings came back. I know you feel the same way."

Her eyes widened. "Sean, I don't know what gave you that feeling, but it's not true. I love Avery." And yet, she had just betrayed him in the worst way.

"You kissed me back." She had. That was something she couldn't deny or take back now.

"It was a mistake Sean." She pulled at her shirt, now wrinkled. "I have to go home." She had to get back and see Avery, even if it meant the end of everything she had worked so hard to build. She pushed him to the side, signaling over a cab.

"So you're just going back to Avery after all this? Where does that leave us?" She heard him yell out angrily.

She stepped into the cab without turning around, telling the driver where to take her. She could feel shame coursing through her veins. _Just focus on getting home, deal with the rest later._

* * *

She stood outside the door, checking her phone again. That missed phone call would be the 20th missed call from Avery. Since this afternoon, he had been calling her leaving voicemail after voicemail.

_Juliette, it's me_._ I came home right after our fight at the studio, so whenever you get home, I'll be here. I really feel horrible about everything. I'll see you when you get home_.

_Hey, it's me. Glenn just called and told me you missed your ad sales pitch meeting. Everything alright?_

_Juliette, this is about the tenth message I've left you, I'm starting to get worried. Just send me a text if you're caught up. _

_Babe, please pick up the phone. I'm seriously scared now. I'm about to call the cops to put out a missing persons report or something._

Once she had landed, she had sent him a quick text letting him know she was coming home, and a quick text to Glenn letting him now she would see him tomorrow. Since then, she pushed every call Avery had sent to voicemail, ignoring it. She couldn't speak to him, not yet. How could she tell him about what had happened?

The guilt consumed her body, as she finally stood outside the door to her own house, fearful of entering her now self-created battlefield.

He would leave her if she told him the truth. They had built a relationship on trust and honesty, and if she told him what had happened with Sean, he would never trust her again. That thought alone gripped her heart in fear.

_It was now or never. _

Taking a deep breath, she turned her key, opening the door softly.

"Where the hell have you been?" She barely entered the door as she turned to see Avery's face. She had never seen him this angry towards her, ever.

She closed the door behind her, walking towards him. She looked at his bloodshot eyes. Behind the pure anger she could see his eyes laced with worry. She latched on to that. "I wasn't checking my phone. I'm sorry." She dropped her keys on the kitchen counter, keeping a bit of distance between them.

"You checked your phone enough to send me that text. Where have you been all day? It's 2 am!" His arms crossed as he moved closer towards her. Suddenly, she saw him jerk back a little. "And why do you smell like vodka?"

She was silent, edging away from him instinctively, but he grabbed her arm.

"Jules, what's going on?" His voice softened.

Her eyes filled with tears that she held back, but she knew he could see it. "I went to Miami tonight."

"Miami?" His eyebrows raised. "You went to Miami _tonight_?"

"Yes." She kept her voice short, trying not to let on more than she needed to.

His eyes flittered across her face, turning his body to stand right in front of her. "I'm confused. What happened after we talked?"

She looked down, rubbing her hand on her forehead with her eyes closed. She couldn't look at him. "I don't know. I just was so upset after we talked, I just needed to get away."

He sighed, rubbing his hands on her forearms. "And you needed to go all the way to Miami to figure it out?" He let out a small smile.

She jerked out of his grip. "I guess so. I should have texted you or Glenn." She looked down, avoiding his eye contact. She looked down at the floor, at the rug next to the couch, basically anywhere but at him.

His eyes narrowed a little at her lack of eye contact. "What aren't you telling me?"

Damn him for knowing her so well. He could probably feel the guilt rolling off her body.

"Juliette," he repeated after her silence filled the room. "What aren't you telling me?"

"I…" Her voice trailed off. It was like the words had gotten stuck in her throat.

He stood with his arms crossed, patiently waiting. Like he always did.

"I took Sean with me." As soon as she mentioned Sean, she saw his body stiffen, but he still waited for her to continue. "I was just upset, and he was calling me and I…"

"Did anything happen between you two tonight?" His eyes were sharp as he cut her off. He wasn't an idiot. He, better than anyone, knew her track record. He knew how she was when she was emotionally volatile.

She closed her eyes, gripping her own tense shoulders.

"Juliette," he stated again, firmly. "Is there anything going on between you two?" She could hear hints of dread in his voice.

With her eyes closed, she could see their life ahead of them. She had never thought about things like marriage or kids; she never thought she wanted or deserved them. She probably didn't deserve to be with someone like Avery, but that didn't mean she didn't want it all with him. The idea that everything secure in her life could end right now drove her next words.

"Nothing is going on between Sean and I." And it was partially true. She didn't see a future with her and Sean. She didn't love him.

"Are you sure?" He repeated, like he wanted to hear her say it again for his own sanity. He was giving her another chance to be honest.

But true to form, she wouldn't take it. "Avery, he's just a friend. I am with you. I love you." Again, all technically true. But it didn't feel right, because deep down, she knew it wasn't.

He let out a sigh of relief, which shocked her the most. _He believed her_. And that made her sick to her stomach. "I'm sorry for asking you that. You know I trust you."

_You shouldn't_ _though. _"It's alright." She forced out, her voice breaking a little. She had thought she had betrayed him in the worst way by sharing that kiss with Sean, but this felt even worse. But it was too late to go back, right?

He laced his fingers in hers, kissing her softly on her forehead. "I still wanna talk about our conversation earlier today."

That conversation was not even on her radar anymore. "It was stupid. I was being stupid."

He shook his head, brushing off her rash apology. "No you weren't. I wanna talk about it. Especially since it made you upset enough to fly all the way to Miami."

If she had to talk about that conversation, she would actually be sick.

"Avery, I think we've talked enough for tonight." She slid her body up against his, pressing his back into the counter. "I'm tired of talking."

_This she could do. _

He looked down at her in confusion. "We have to talk though." He pushed her body away slightly.

She trailed her finger up and down his chest, tilting her head up at him. She knew exactly how to get him. "I swear, we can talk about it tomorrow. But right now," she stood on her toes, letting her breath trail up his neck as she whispered in his ear, "I want you to screw me. Hard." She _needed_ this.

She could feel his body respond and she knew she had him. Biting down on the lobe of his ear, she felt his hands cup her bottom. "You know how I get when you talk like that to me." His voice rang out breathily. He was turned on already.

She did. "Then why are you keeping me waiting?" She rubbed her nose against his neck a little, spreading her legs to position herself closer to him. "Tomorrow, we can talk. I promise." There was no way she was having that conversation tonight, and she would make sure of it.

With that confirmation, he lifted her up quickly, moving slowly towards the bedroom.

"No." she replied firmly. "Right here." She forced him to put her down, looking at him as she lifted her shirt and her bra over her head, dropping them to the floor.

Grabbing his hands, she pushed them on her waist, walking backwards and guiding his body down towards the rug in front of the couch.

With him now sitting on the floor, she pushed her own body firmly on his, rotating her hips quickly and firmly, feeling him hard through his jeans. And yet with every movement she made, guilt still bubbled up in her heart.

"God Jules, slow down." He let out through gritted teeth, gripping her hips harder. "I won't last at this pace, you're killing me here." He pushed his hips up instinctively and she threw her head back, breathing heavily. She needed more. She felt like a ball of fire and energy, moving rapidly trying to reach a place she knew she wasn't going to get. Trying to push away something that wasn't going to go away.

He moved his head to press his lips to hers, but she pulled her face away quickly. _This wasn't about that._ Instead, she grabbed at his belt, pulling his pants down to his knees.

He gripped her back tightly, watching her through glazed eyes as he trailed his hands down her hot skin. He started to spread wet kisses along her neck, slowing the pace down. Too slow for what she needed right now and certainly too intimate for what she deserved right now.

"Avery, I told you I wanted you to screw me, stop playing around." Her voice was biting, but she masked it with lust, letting that drive every movement. She was an actress through and through, playing the part whenever it was required. This was her shining moment always, the role she had perfected long before that was simply just being revisited tonight.

She got off him, pulling her own pants down finally. Smirking but still not really looking at him, she lowered herself on to him without any warning, only hearing his cry of surprise turn into pants as she quickened her pace, moving her body up and down his length rapidly. She gripped the fabric of the rug to keep her balance, and pretended she couldn't hear the way he was calling her name.

As she felt him finish, she hated the relief she flood over her. Before he could move to touch her again, she slid off him, catching her breath.

A sinking feeling wracked her entire body when she processed what had just happened. This was different than any other time they had done this and she realized why. She had never felt so _far_ from him, so closed off. Her self-hatred grew as she edged further away from him, leaning up against the base of the couch.

"You alright?" she was broken out of her thoughts by Avery looking up towards her. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?" He slid his hands up her arms, moving his head to kiss lips lightly. She hated the way he looked at her, like she was the center of his world. How long had she waited for someone to look at her like that? For _anyone_ to look at her like that? And she screwed it up. She could feel how much he loved her, and it only magnified her unease.

She pushed him away a little. If he touched her again she would actually break. "I'm ok." She forced a smile towards him, getting up quickly and making her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She gripped the edges of the sink, taking a few deep breaths before staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was colorless. She wasn't ok.

Why would she be? She had just used the guy that she loved for sex to avoid the fact that she had kissed another man earlier that night. Then she had lied to Avery's face and told him nothing had happened between her and Sean.

She could feel her web entangling her slowly, and there was nothing she could do about it.

* * *

Next chapter is going to finally have some real confrontation, and everything is coming to the surface finally!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to the faithful readers of this story, it really means a lot to me to know you guys like it and review on it!

So this is the chapter where it all goes down. A bit long, but I had a lot to fit in it!

Please read and review, tell me what you think!

* * *

"Juliette, it's already 9. Wake up." Through her closed eyes, she could feel a hand shaking her arm slightly.

She swatted his hand away. "I don't wanna go." She flipped on her side, pulling the covers over her head.

"Juliette, Emily is going to be here any minute." She felt the covers being pulled back.

"Tell her she can go screw herself for making me get up right now." She whined. Every part of her body wanted to stay in bed.

She heard him chuckle a little. "It's your album release party babe. It's not her fault."

"But why do I have to get ready all day?" She finally opened her eyes, puckering her lower lip in a pout.

He kissed the tip of her nose quickly. "Don't ask me. I don't get why you females take so long to get ready."

Her eyelashes fluttered. "Well, to be fair, I have to rehearse for my performance. And figure out the outfit change logistics. And look sexy as hell and shove it to that ass Jeff Fordham." Since Jeff Fordham had taken over Edgehill, he did nothing but push her buttons. He had fought her new album and new sound every step of the way, until he recognized the successful sale predictions the album would get him, hence the elaborate album release party he was throwing in her honor.

"You're asking the wrong person about that one, you could be wearing nothing and I'd still think you were the sexiest women I'd ever seen." He rubbed the exposed skin on her lower back, trailing his fingers up and down her spine softly. "Actually, I'd prefer you wearing nothing."

She smacked his upper arm instantaneously. "You're an idiot."

"You can't blame a guy for trying, especially when he has the great Juliette Barnes in his bed." He smirked. _That damn smirk_. It always made her heart beat a little faster.

She rolled her eyes playfully, sitting up and stretching her stiff muscles. "I guess I'm up now. Here's to the start of a long day." Even through her tiredness, her body was filled with a sense of excitement for what was to come.

"Hey," she felt him lace his fingers in hers, "I can't wait to see you tonight. You worked your ass off for a year for this." His hands trailed up her arm to cup the back of her head. "And I'm so proud of you."

Her eyes shone as she tilted her head at him in amazement. "How do you go from seducing me to _that_?"

"Part of my charm I guess?" He joked, pressing his lips against hers softly. There was no urgency or rush with any of his movements. His tongue moved slow against hers, like there was no concept of time or a world they both had to get to. Every movement was steady and secure. Her heart filled with warmth at how much love she could feel just from his touch.

When he pulled away, her words spilled out like a flood. "I have never loved anyone like I love you. _Ever_." Even that seemed like it wasn't enough. No song she could ever write would be able to fully capture what she felt in this moment.

He let his lips trail over her ear. "Thank you for loving me and letting me love you."

On her nightstand, her phone buzzed loudly, breaking the sanctity of the moment.

She groaned, grabbing the phone. "What Emily? Yes, I'll be ready in five minutes." She threw off the sheets covering her, running to the bathroom to brush her teeth and give her hair a quick comb. Grabbing a few other essentials and her dress for the evening, she ran to the door only to see Avery standing there with a travel mug full of coffee.

"I figured you might need some for today." He handed her the mug and gave her a lingering kiss. "See you tonight."

Her eyes were slow to open from the kiss. "What time will you be there again?" She couldn't do this night without him.

"Probably right before. I'll be coming over with Deacon and Rayna I believe."

"Great. I'll see you later then." Pressing her lips against his one last time, she pulled away with a smile, running out the door to Emily's car.

* * *

"You sounded great sweetheart!" Glenn beamed at her, handing her a bottle of water.

Unscrewing the top and taking a big swig, she smiled back in gratitude. "Thanks Glenn."

"You're gonna blow everyone away at the release party." Glenn's hands moved excitedly. His pride for her warmed her heart. "And stick it to Jeff."

She reached to hug him. "Nothing would make me happier." She took out her in-ears, handing them to her sound technician. "So we're done here right? Time for me to start getting ready?"

"Yep. I think all the logistics for the performance are set. The stage should be set up at the hotel by the time you get there and should be identical to the set up here." He looked at his watch quickly. "We finished a bit earlier than expected so I'm going to stick around and finalize some of the details here. I'll see you at party tonight." His excitement was infectious. It felt good to finally be doing something that made him proud.

She laid a hand on his arm. "Thanks for getting me here Glenn. Means a lot to me." She shot him one last smile before following Emily out to the car that was taking them to the hotel.

Bo opened the door, guiding her in the car and shutting the door behind them.

She sank into the leather seats. It was only 1 pm, and she felt drained already. The excitement was starting to wear off, and the tiredness was setting in. The label had rented out the large ballroom at an upscale hotel right in the heart of Nashville, which was flattering but also created a lot of pressure for her to look and sound just right. Not that she ever backed away from any challenge, but still.

She heard Emily cleared her throat. Even with her eyes closed, she knew that wasn't a good sign. "Emily, spit it out. What's wrong?"

Silence filled the car.

She opened her eyes, repeating the question. "Emily?" She looked at her face and something like dread filled her stomach. "Why do you look like that? Did you lose my dress or something?"

Emily cleared her throat again. "The publicity team just sent me this."

She handed her blackberry over to her. On the screen was a picture of her and Sean in Miami, on the boardwalk. He had his arms on her waist, and they were kissing.

Her stomach dropped. "_Where the hell did they get this_?" She stared at the picture, hoping that it would disappear if she looked at it long enough.

Emily tried to grab the phone from her hand, but she swatted it away. This had to be a joke.

She scrolled up the page to read the headline. _Caught! TMZ reports Juliette Barnes and Sean Butler back together again! Better luck the second time around?_

She was going to be sick. "How did they get this picture?" Her heart rate quickened.

"I don't know. TMZ broke the story about an hour ago, so it has yet to be picked up by other outlets." Emily looked at her curiously. "How old is this picture?"

"About a month ago." Shame filled her voice. Since that night, she broke off all communication with Sean, despite his incessant calling and texting. He had even stopped by her studio a couple times, but she had successfully avoided him. She thought forgetting that kiss ever happened could ease her guilt, and it sort of did. But like everything else in her life, her mistakes always had a way of rearing their ugly head back up. Thinking back to that night, she could vaguely recall people in the distance. She thought they had been under the radar, but it's highly possible a fan had seen them and snapped a picture.

"A month ago." Emily pursed her lips. "Ok."

She knew what that meant, and what Emily wanted to ask. "No, Avery doesn't know. I never got a chance to tell him." A bullshit answer, and she knew it.

Silence in response _again_. She hated the silence, so she continued instead. "It was a mistake, I didn't want to bring up something that would ruin what we have." She rubbed her hands over her eyes. She couldn't bear to see the disappointment in Emily's eyes.

Emily sighed in response. "Well, from a purely publicity perspective, you technically aren't dating Avery in the public eye. So being linked with Sean will only boost the hype for tonight." She leaned forward a little, craning her head to face her. "As your friend, I suggest you tell Avery about this before he finds out on his own."

"You don't know him, he'll never forgive me for this." Her voice broke. He may have forgiven her if she had just been honest with him from the start, but the lie was too far-gone now. She couldn't turn back without this blowing up in her face. She could feel the situation had snowballed and now she was paralyzed into inaction.

"Avery loves you Juliette. You just need to be honest with him." Emily reassured, as her phone started buzzing with her Internet alerts. More gossip outlets were picking up the story.

She slammed her head against the car window, gripping her the door handle tightly, trying to keep her nausea at bay.

* * *

"Avery!" Glenn got up from his desk, giving him a warm pat on the back. "How's it going son?" He eyed the bouquet of daisies in his hand. "I'm guessing those aren't for me?" His eyes lit in amusement.

He laughed a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "I was hoping to catch Juliette before she headed over to get ready. I'm guessing I missed her?"

Glenn sat back down behind the desk, motioning for Avery to take the seat across from him. "Hate to break it you, but she's been gone for about an hour. We finished rehearsal early, so she's already on her way over to the hotel. Probably is there already."

He put the flowers down on the desk. "I figured as much. None of the roadies are walking on egg shells, so I knew she couldn't be here." He let out a small laugh. He loved Juliette, but he knew firsthand how she got before a big performance.

Glenn shared a knowing smile. "Yeah, we ran through the number pretty fast. She had it down cold. Sounded incredible, might I add."

He beamed proudly hearing that. "She's been working really hard recently. I figured I would come down on my lunch break and surprise her. I guess I just came a little too late."

"Sorry about that son. You'll just have to see her tonight at the party. You're coming right?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." He tilted his head, looking at the spread out paperwork in front of Glenn. "What's that you're working on?"

"Just the guest list for this party. I feel like all of Nashville is invited at this point." He laughed, motioning to mess of papers in front of him. "I have to approve all the names on it and forward it to management before the party starts."

Avery leaned forward. "How many people are on the list?"

"Somewhere around 500."

He blew out air in amazement. "And Juliette added all these people on the list?"

"Oh God no." Glenn's eyes crinkled in amusement. He searched through his stack of papers, pulling out a single sheet. "Juliette's list of people is here, she made it months ago." He handed over the sheet for him to look at. "The rest are just other label execs and producers that Jeff Fordham wants to show off too."

He grabbed the list from Glenn, scanning it quickly. He smiled, seeing his name first on the list. He saw Deacon and Rayna on the list as well. It was probably a list of 20 individuals at most. Perusing down, his gaze fixated at the last name on the list. "She put Sean Butler on the list?"

Glenn rolled his eyes at the name, taking the paper back from him. "Yeah, she put that kid on the list despite me prodding her not to."

Avery tried to keep down the jealousy that rose up. He knew she was allowed to have friends; it just still bothered him a little, though he would never admit it to her. "Well, they are friends right?" He leaned back in his chair a little, rubbing his hands on his legs.

"That guy is relentless. He has been calling me every day for about a month now, asking why Juliette hasn't returned his calls."

His eyes narrowed curiously. _Juliette wasn't returning his calls?_

But Glenn didn't seem to notice as he continued. "As if it hasn't been enough of a nightmare trying to control the press from spewing that they are back together."

Avery looked down, rubbing his neck. "It's understandable though right? They were engaged and are both high profile?"

Glenn sighed in agreement, rubbing his forehead. "Yeah, but if we want to put the focus on the music, it makes it hard. Thank God the press doesn't know the truth about the annulment. That would only make things worse."

_Annulment._

He looked at Glenn in confusion. "The annulment?" He emphasized the word, like he had heard it wrong. But he knew he hadn't.

Glenn looked at him, like he didn't understand why he repeated the word. As Avery saw the realization set into Glenn's face, he knew for sure he hadn't heard wrong. "I'm sorry son, I didn't realize that you didn't know."

He meant he didn't realize Juliette hadn't told him. His head swam with thoughts. Why hadn't Juliette told him?

"So, they did get married?" And apparently had an annulment. Interesting.

Glenn's lips pursed. "It's not really my business to tell. I've already said too much."

Avery sighed, gripping the arms of the chair. "I can respect that." His teeth clenched, trying to wrap his mind around the surprising information. In their two years of friendship and one year being in a committed relationship, it never came up that she had been married? Seemed like something that might be worth mentioning, especially since she had been spending so much time with Sean recently.

"Son, I have to head over to the hotel now. Will I still see you tonight?" Glenn stood up apprehensively. He knew he screwed up, Avery could see it written all over his face. In many ways, Glenn was an open book.

"I'll be there." Avery nodded quickly. "Can you just give these to Juliette once you see her?" He picked up the daisies, eyeing them again before handing them over. The composition of yellow and pink daisies had caught his eye in the floral shop, and the minute he saw them he knew they were for Juliette.

"Sure." Glenn grabbed the flowers carefully, scooping up his files as well. "I'll walk you out."

Glenn made small talk as they walked out, but he barely heard it. His mind raced with thoughts of Sean and Juliette. Tonight would be interesting, that was for sure.

* * *

"Can you shut your damn phone off Emily?" She closed her eyes, grinding her teeth back and forth to keep her anger in check.

"Sorry. People Magazine is asking for you to comment on the picture. I'm just forwarding the 'no comment' statement to them."

She gazed into the mirror, shaking her head full of curls with her hand. "Why the hell do I need to make a statement on this? It's my own damn business." She practically growled, checking her phone for the millionth time to see if she got any message from Avery yet. Nothing.

"That's just the way these things work, you know that." Emily assured her. "Avery hasn't called yet?"

She groaned, resting her head on the makeup counter in front of her. "No."

"No news is good news right? Maybe he hasn't seen the reports yet?" She got up, standing right behind her. "Maybe you want to call him now?"

She kept her head rested on the counter. "I don't think I want to Emily." Having that conversation would actually break her.

She heard Emily sigh in resignation. "Alright, I'm going to see if I can find the girl who's doing your make-up. Give me a few minutes." She heard the door closely softly behind her.

Gripping the counter, she let out a short sob. Should she call Avery? She couldn't. How could she tell him that she had kept this from him for a month now? He would _hate_ her, and her heart could not take that. But was waiting for the other shoe to drop a better option?

She picked up her head, slowing down her breathing while looking at herself in the mirror. She would tell him after the party tonight. It's not like he spent time looking through gossip magazines or tabloids. The probability that he hadn't seen the picture yet was extremely high. He was at work all day and then was coming straight here. She took a deep breath again as she heard Emily walk back in.

"Hey, I just saw Glenn, he said Avery came by earlier and dropped these off for you." She handed her a bouquet of yellow and pink daisies.

Her eyes lit seeing the beautiful flowers. Simple and bright, something she would expect Avery to pick out for her. She touched the flowers softly, like they were made of glass. "He came by here?" She asked confused.

"No, Glenn said he came by the rehearsal space looking for you." Emily had a pensive look on her face still.

Juliette put the flowers down on the counter in front of her. "So... Glenn knows?"

"Yeah, he found out on the car ride over."

Fear gripped her heart a little. "So after he saw Avery right?"

"I'm assuming so."

She sighed loudly in relief, gripping her exhale when she saw Emily looking at her curiously. "I'm going to tell him after the party. I swear. Just don't mention it anymore."

Emily raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

She touched the flowers again, crinkling the cellophane paper surrounding them. "It's the best idea I've had all day."

* * *

_This is your night_. She had to keep reminding herself that. She took a deep breath, gathering all the courage she had as she smoothed down her dress, feeling the intricate beading beneath her fingers. Her stylist had picked out a long pale blue Giorgio Armani strapless dress with embroidery throughout the bodice. It hugged her curves perfectly, but still let her feel comfortable. With her hair swept in curls and pinned to the side, she knew she looked stunning. She entered the ballroom with a bright smile, as Glenn and Emily trailed behind her closely.

She felt the light of the room engulf her as a roar of applause erupted when she entered. She saw from the corner of her eye Jeff Fordham specifically approaching her to give her a large hug. She tried her best not to visibly cringe as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders like they were on friendly terms.

"Juliette Barnes, shining country star of Edgehill Republic!" His teeth shone as he lifted his champagne flute, turning to her like he had believed in her all along.

_Play the part, as usual._ She smiled graciously at him, hiding her inner dislike for the man who had given her hell for the past year about this album. As the crowd dispersed, mingling with each other again, he let go of her shoulders.

"Nice party right?" He gleamed at her. "Does it meet the Juliette Barnes seal of approval?"

"You sure know how to do it big." She crossed her arms, standing tall. "I'm off to mingle with your uppity record execs and DJs and convince them to buy my album." She winked at him before walking away with the swing of her hips, not letting him get another word in. He wasn't worth her time.

She glanced around the room. _Where was Avery? _She didn't spot him, Deacon, or Rayna anywhere.

She maneuvered her way through the crowd towards the bar, ordering herself a gin and tonic. If she had to flirt with all these executives, she was going to need some liquid incentive to get her through. Over the speakers, she could hear her song playing loudly.

"Juliette." She felt a hand on her arm.

She turned in surprise. "Sean." In front of her was the one person she _really_ did not want to see right now.

He examined her shocked look. "Didn't think I would show up huh?" He sneered a little at her, putting one hand on the counter of the bar to steady himself. "Sorry to disappoint."

"You're drunk." She stated, matter of fact, looking at his stance and the drink in his hand.

"And? Didn't think good ol' Christian boy got drunk?"

She sighed, still looking around for Avery. "I just didn't think you would come here, that's all."

He looked at her sharply. "You haven't answered any of my calls for a month. I think I deserve an explanation."

She looked around, seeing people staring a bit at them. "Sean, you're making a scene. Please stop."

"Really?" He raised his voice, even louder. "Should I try calling you and getting ignored for another month again?"

"Please." She lowered her voice, whispering. "Just lower your voice."

"You know what Juliette? I'm so tired of this." He took a swig of the amber liquid in his glass, setting it down on the bar loudly. "You kiss me, and then ignore me for a month. Then a week later, I get an invite to your album release party while you're still ignoring all my calls. What the hell?" His voice was practically yelling, and the surrounding music was barely drowning him out.

She played with the fabric of her dress, before looking back up at him. "I'm sorry for giving you mixed messages. And Glenn sent out the invitations for this release party. I just didn't think you would come, considering…"

"Considering what Juliette?" His eyes were full of fury, to the point where she stepped back a little in fear. "Considering I've been getting phone calls from my publicist all day about those photos that leaked of us from Miami?" Her eyes darted downward in shame, but he continued. "Do you know how painful it is for me to be reminded of that moment? I told you I _loved_ you. That I wanted to be with you again. And all you did was go back to that nobody boyfriend of yours."

Her eyes snapped up. "His name is Avery. And I'm sorry I hurt you, but that kiss was a mistake. We need to move past that and just forget it happened."

She made a move to storm away, but he grabbed her arm tightly. "I don't want to forget. And I don't think we are done talking yet."

"I think we are." Her body was tense, as she tried to get out of his grasp. "Let go of me."

"Not until you tell me where the hell we stand." His grip only increased tighter, cutting off her circulation in her right arm. "I won't let you ignore me again."

"Sean, you're drunk and you're hurting me." She visibly pulled away, trying to loosen his grip. Alarms started going off in her head, as she looked around to see who she could call to for help. Sean was a big guy, and even though she knew he wouldn't hurt her in such a public setting, she could feel her adrenaline start to pump instinctively.

Suddenly, she felt her body being jerked forward and his grip on her loosened. Catching her own balance on the edge of the bar, she saw Sean pinned up with Avery's arm across his chest. Behind him she could see Deacon with his fists clenched as well.

"Don't you _ever_ touch her like that again." Avery snarled right in his face, before letting his grip on him go. "I think you need to leave. _Now_." He straightened his suit while not breaking eye contact with Sean for a second.

She saw Bo move forward, but Sean raised his hands in defeat. "You got it." He looked over at her intently. "I won't bother you again Juliette. I get it. You're not interested." He tried to hold her gaze, but she quickly diverted her eyes, looking down at the floor. Turning on his heel, he walked out, Bo following closely behind him.

The reality of what had just occurred hit her hard, as she covered her mouth, feeling a set of arms hold her from the side. She turned quickly to see Rayna, holding her body up. She leaned against her, processing what Sean had just said out loud.

"Avery." She looked straight at him, trying to catch his gaze.

He took a slow step towards her, extending his hand. "I think we need to talk. In private."

"Sure." Her heart raced as she took his hand. Rayna let go of her slowly, as she let herself be lead by Avery to the women's bathroom right outside the ballroom.

Pushing the door open, he ushered her inside before locking the door behind him.

She lifted her eyebrow. "Is this a quickie or something? You know technically boys aren't allowed in the girls bathroom right?" She joked. She needed a reaction, _anything_ from him right now. His silence was a horrible premonition.

Still silent, he lifted her up by her waist, hoisting her up on the granite sink, looking closer at her arm. She looked down and saw the finger marks on her skin starting to bruise, turning an ugly purple color. She winced as he softly touched the outline of the bruises.

"Did he hurt you anywhere else?" He closed his eyes, head downward.

"No." She whispered out. "He was just drunk and angry, it really wasn't a big deal. It's not like he meant to hurt me."

His eyes opened sharply. "Not a big deal? _Look _at your arm Jules."

"He just didn't realize how hard he gripped me."

"Are you kidding me?" his eyes flamed. "Are you actually defending this guy to me right now? After everything that just happened?"

She snapped her arm back, out of his grip. "I'm not defending him. I'm just say it wasn't as big a deal as you are making it right now."

"I'm confused." She could hear him question her incredulously. "Are you pissed that I caused a scene at your release party or something?"

She sighed, rubbing her hands on his arms. "No, I'm just a little shaken up and confused too. I'm sorry." She tried to catch his gaze, but he wasn't looking at her. She could see the wheels in his head turning.

"Are you going to tell me what's really going on here?" He stepped back out of her grasp, slipping his hands into his pockets. "When are you going to clue me in on why he is so _fixated_ on you?"

"What do you mean?" She spent time and care on every word, slow to speak.

"Please don't play stupid with me." He looked at her, gaze hard. "Just tell me the truth."

She rubbed her shoulders, looking down at the crinkles in her dress, smoothing them out. "What truth?"

"So we're going to play this game right now?" He rolled his eyes, digging his hands deeper into his pockets. "Juliette, _I know_."

She felt her heart stop. "You know?"

"I know." He laughed cynically, looking up at the ceiling. "What I don't get is why you never told me. Did you really think it wasn't important enough for me to know? And why did I have to find out from Glenn?"

Her entire body filled with panic. So Glenn had told Avery. Before she could think, words came flying out of her mouth. "I was just afraid and I didn't want to tell you about the kiss because it didn't mean anything to me. It was a mistake and it doesn't change the fact that I love _you_." She motioned towards him, eyes shining.

She reached for him, but he moved further back, looking at her confused.

"What kiss?"

She froze at his words, trying to process them.

"Juliette, what kiss?" He repeated, his confusion turning to realization. "I'm sorry, did he _kiss_ you?"

_This wasn't happening._ The room started spinning as she gripped the edge of the sink tightly.

"Juliette," he repeated, his voice raised in anger. "Did something happen between you two recently?"

She had trapped herself in a box with no exit. She clenched her eyes shut. "A month ago. He kissed me, and there was a _brief_ second that I didn't pull away." She opened her eyes to see pure disgust in his eyes, and she hated it. "But it didn't mean anything!"

His body was tense. "If it didn't mean anything, why are you only telling me now?" She saw him thinking quickly. "It happened in Miami, didn't it?"

She looked down, nodding sadly. "I thought you saw the pictures, and that's what you were talking about."

"There are pictures out?" He looked up at the ceiling again, laughing sharply. "So the entire world knows about this but me."

"Avery," she jumped off the sink, trying to catch his gaze, "I wanted to tell you… I was going to tell you tonight…"

"_Tonight_?" He looked at her in amazement, like he couldn't believe what she was saying. "Why would you not tell me the night it happened if it really didn't mean anything to you?" He pushed her body away from him as she tried to reach up to touch him. "When you came home, I asked you if anything happened and you looked me straight in the eyes and told me that nothing happened!"

"I know!" her voice cracked as she held back tears. "I never wanted to hurt you, I was going to tell you tonight before you saw the pictures…"

"_Oh_." He tilted his head, looking straight at her. "So the only reason you were finally going to admit it is because you got caught."

She pushed her hair behind her ears, not answering purposely. He was right, she couldn't deny that.

"You know what the worst part is?" He continued angrily, "I felt _guilty_ about accusing you of cheating that night. I felt guilty that I even brought that up." His voice was clouded in emotion, she could hear it.

"Avery," she tried to interject, but he just continued.

"And now I just feel stupid for not seeing it. The way you constantly avoided talking about Sean, the secrecy, everything." He counted each on his fingers. "I thought I was just being jealous for no reason."

"You don't have anything to be jealous of. _Nothing_ is going on between Sean and I." She grabbed the lapels of his jacket, trying to get his attention.

But she could see it was too late. "And then I wondered why you never told me you actually married the guy. _That_ is what I wanted to talk about now. Glenn let it slip that you guys got an annulment today. And now this…" He rubbed his hand over his mouth, catching his breath a little. "I'm the idiot with the wool pulled over his eyes every time."

She stepped back, looking at the emotions flittering over his face. She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the kiss. Or that I got an annulment. But I didn't want to give you another reason to leave!" Her voice broke, but she bit her tongue to keep too many emotions from spilling out.

"That's your reasoning for lying to me for months?" His eyes blazed. "I have done _everything_ I can to show you how much I love you. To assure you I wasn't going anywhere! And I did that by being honest and open. Something you thought I didn't deserve."

Her breath quickened. "I was just scared of hurting you."

"Why would you care?" He spit out. "You clearly didn't care enough about hurting me when you lied to me. Or when you kissed Sean. You say one thing to my face but your actions say another."

She bit her lip hard, almost drawing blood. "I'm sorry." She said openly. "I don't know what else I can say to make this better. I was wrong, I know that. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you."

He closed his eyes, not even looking at her. "I don't want to hear that. It's not good enough for me anymore."

This was it. The moment of inevitability. Her heart sank like a rock to her stomach. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," he took a deep breath, "That I'm not sure if I trust you anymore. And I can't pretend that doesn't exist just because I love you so much."

Her head spun. This was her worst nightmare coming true. But if her mother taught her anything, it was never to show all her cards at once. That's how you got hurt. It was the mistake she always made.

She cleared her voice of emotion, stoic in every way. "Get to the point Avery. What are you saying?" Her voice was hard but her knees shook underneath her dress.

He continued slowly. "I need some time to really think things through. I think we should take a break." He wouldn't even look at her when he said it. But it was more than that, it's like he _couldn't_ look at her. He couldn't bear to look at her, which stung more than she wanted to admit.

She lifted her eyebrows, wiping the dried tears from her eyes. It took everything in her not to crumble, but she stood tall. "Don't call it 'a break' to spare my feelings. You don't trust me. I know what that means." And she did. She saw the writing on the wall the second he had mentioned trust. Once it was broken, it wasn't easy to gain back, she of all people knew that. It was like a broken glass vase that could never be restored to its former beauty.

He moved forward like he wanted to say something, and she could see it was on the tip of his tongue. She kept her eyes hard, waiting for what he could say that would make this better.

But he didn't say anything. Instead, he moved back in silence, unlocking the bathroom door and quickly shuffling out, letting the door slam behind him.

She turned and looked at herself in the mirror, watching her face crumble. Hearing the door open again, she closed her eyes, gaining composure again. "Was there anything else you wanted to add Avery? I think you made yourself pretty clear." She replied, letting her voice out through clenched teeth.

She opened her eyes, seeing Rayna standing there instead. She spun around, facing the woman who she had grown to respect immensely over the years.

"You alright?" Rayna asked straight, with kind eyes. _She knew_. How could she not? Everyone in the ballroom probably knew by now, based on how loud they were yelling.

Her legs gave way as the gravity of everything hit her. "I don't know." Her voice broke, and her chin wobbled as she finally released her emotions, sinking to the bathroom floor.

"Oh girl," Rayna sunk down to the floor next to her, cradling her head against her chest. "It's gonna be ok."

She wanted to believe her. That everything was going to be ok. But she knew it wasn't.

She almost had it all, but true to form, she had screwed it all up. And that was going to have to be something she was ok with.

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks :)


	6. Chapter 6

So new chapter!

Thanks to the faithful readers and reviewers of this story. I really appreciate knowing that some of you are enjoying this story, it makes me happy to see!

* * *

"Hey girl, come on in." Rayna opened the door with a surprised look, letting her through the door with smile.

She gave Rayna a long hug and entered, looking around. "Sorry for springing up on you like this, but is Maddie around? She left her songbook at my house last night, and I figured she was itching to get it back."

Rayna closed the door behind her and laughed. "You know that girl doesn't go anywhere without that thing."

"I didn't think she knew what life was like without it." Juliette looked down at the worn leather book in her hand that was filled with the beautiful thoughts of the teenager who had stolen her heart in many ways. "Reminds me of when I was younger, except I had less than half that girl's talent."

"Well now, I _know_ that's not true… the talent part of course." Rayna rubbed her arm reassuringly. "And the girls are actually at Teddy's, I'm off to pick them up right now."

"Mind if I wait around here? I just came from the studio and it would be nice to see the girls."

"Of course. I think Maddie said she wanted to discuss her most recent song with you." Rayna grabbed her phone from her back pocket while continuing. "Trust me, the look on Deacon's face when she told him she wanted to write with you… utter devastation."

They both laughed together. The friendship between her and Rayna even surprised her sometimes, but it definitely was a relief not being at odds anymore. Rayna had become one of her closest confidants, even more so since she and Avery had…

_Nope. Don't go there._ She shook the thought from her quickly before the pain could grip her heart like it did every time she thought about him.

"She doesn't need my help, trust me. She's got both of your instincts."

Rayna smiled in gratitude. "She's got more talent than me and Deacon put together." The pride in her eyes filled Juliette's body with a warm feeling.

"Your genes made the perfect superstar, that's for sure." Juliette nodded in agreement. Looking around the foyer, she saw pictures of the girls with smiles on their faces over the years. On the farthest table, she could see Deacon and Rayna's wedding picture from last year, and a family picture with them and the girls as well.

They were all reminders of a form of happiness she never had growing up. And one that she seemingly would never have moving forward.

Rayna had probably noticed the shifting emotions on her face based on how her eyes filled with sympathy. "How are you doing Juliette? Things alright?"

She took a deep breath. "I've been good today. I swear!" She let out a little laugh, reassuring the older woman. Since she and Avery had their explosive fallout about three months ago, Rayna had made a particular effort to invite her around more. Probably out of pity, but she wasn't complaining. Spending time with Deacon, Rayna, and the girls was something that she loved doing.

It was the days they didn't call her around that she remembered that Avery's clothes weren't in her drawers anymore, or that she was only making coffee for one person instead of two every morning.

"You sure?" Rayna positioned her body downward, so that they were eye to eye.

"I'm sure." She nodded a couple times, to get the point across before hesitating on her next words. "How's he doing?"

Rayna sighed, crossing her arms a little. She knew this was a tough situation she was putting Rayna in. Avery had become just as much a part of Deacon and Rayna's lives as she had in many ways. Plus, Rayna, Deacon, and Avery still worked together. "He's alright Juliette. Why don't you call and ask him yourself instead of fishing for information from me?"

She looked down. "I don't think he'll wanna hear from me."

"Probably true, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try." She stepped back before continuing. "You want something to drink? Coffee sound good?"

"Coffee always sounds good." She smiled in gratitude. She followed behind Rayna as she entered the kitchen, freezing when she saw who was already sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Juliette!" Scarlett's voice echoed in the kitchen, surprised. "I didn't know you were coming over."

She smiled tightly, gritting her teeth. "I didn't know you were here either. Rayna didn't tell me she had company." She looked pointedly at Rayna. She of _all_ people knew how she felt about Scarlett.

Rayna shrugged nonchalantly. "You didn't ask."

_Great._ She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Rayna's response.

"So I'm off to go pick up the girls. I'll be back in like 20 minutes. Both of you are welcome to stay here until I get back."

_Like hell_. "Rayna, I'll just head home if it's too much trouble?" She edged her way backward, away from the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, I'll just see the girls and Uncle Deacon another night!" Scarlett hopped off the stool, same idea clearly in mind.

"Don't be silly girls. I'll be back in 20 minutes. Deacon should be home before that. It's no big deal. I insist." She grabbed her keys and purse while making her way out the door before either could get a word in otherwise. "I'll see you _both_ when I get back!"

The house filled with a painful silence, as Juliette turned towards Scarlett, who had that stupid, sheepish look on her face.

"Guess we're stuck together for a little?" She laughed weakly, clearly trying to hide her fear.

"Guess so." Her fists clenched in response as she tried to control her instinct to lash out at the girl.

"So, how's it been going for you? Heard about your album, congratulations!" Scarlett asked earnestly, trying to create small talk.

She rolled her eyes. She was not in the mood for this. "Listen, we don't have to painfully dance around each other like this and pretend that we like each other. I'll just get my coffee and go watch tv until the girls or Deacon come back."

"I don't _not_ like you." Scarlett replied, confused.

She laughed bitterly, walking over to the cabinet to grab a mug. "Don't try to spare my feelings, I'm alright with you not liking me. _Trust me_."

The girl still had that confused look on her face. "Where did you get that idea from? That I don't like you?"

Juliette had her back towards Scarlett as poured her coffee, not answering.

"Is this," she heard the timid girl stop before continuing. "Is this about you and Avery or something?"

She gripped the coffee mug. Hearing his name from her mouth literally heated her entire body.

"Juliette?" Scarlett questioned again. "I deserve to know what I did to deserve your dislike."

She slammed the coffee pot back into its holder, still with her back faced to Scarlett. "Whatever's going on between you and Avery, I don't care. We broke up months ago."

She could hear the Scarlett's voice falter in confusion still. "Between me and Avery?"

Juliette gripped her eyes shut tightly. _Could she stop saying his name in reference to hers? _

"Juliette, nothing's going on between Avery and I. Nothing has been since a long time ago, before he was with you. We're friends."

_Right. Friends._ "I don't care what you guys are." She turned to face Scarlett, sipping her coffee slowly, drawing out her words with a false confidence.

"You _clearly _do." She saw the lanky girl's eyes fill with a little annoyance. "I can see it written all over your face."

"You know nothing about me." She spit out quickly.

"You know what?" Scarlett hopped off the stool, standing in her direct line of view. "You're right. I don't know a lot about you. We aren't friends."

Juliette scoffed. "You got that damn right."

"But," Scarlett continued, "I've made every effort to be kind to you from the moment Avery came as a producer on my album."

"You mean the album you _requested_ him to work on?" Her fists clenched.

Scarlett crossed her arms. "He's the best there is. And he knows my sound really well."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't think I know what you're doing? I was the _master_ at this kind of manipulation. You have this whole innocent act down to a science, but I'm not buying it."

"Just because you used people to further your career that way doesn't mean I do." Scarlett spit back quickly, with a fire Juliette didn't know she possessed.

"You know what?" Juliette slammed her coffee mug on the counter. "Just admit it. You still love Avery, you wanted him back, and that's why you asked him to work on the album with you." Her chest heaved up and down, as the anger coursing through her body continued to pump.

The girl across from her looked at her carefully before continuing. "I don't love Avery, not in the way you're thinking at least." Scarlett tilted her head, looking down before looking at her again. "Maybe for a while I did, and maybe a part of me will always want him back. He was my first real love, the first guy I ever saw myself with long term. But I didn't ask him to work on my album to take him away from you. I couldn't even if I tried. He loves _you._"

"But you tried, didn't you?" her voice was sharp.

"No." Scarlett said honestly, looking at her in irritation. "Are you listening to _anything_ I'm saying or do you just choose to villianize people to make yourself feel better?"

"_Excuse_ me?" Juliette looked at her incredulously.

"You heard me." Scarlett's eyes filled with disdain. "You're so set on making him and me the bad guys because it's _easy_. It's _easy_ to make us the bad guys to justify your need to constantly screw up everyone's lives."

Her eyes stung. "He _told_ you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course not. He didn't have to. I could see it on his face for weeks. He was _devastated_ at whatever you did Juliette. Still is."

She averted her eyes from the girl in front of her. "Rayna didn't tell me he was hurting."

"Of course she wouldn't. She knew how it would make you feel." Scarlett bit her lip. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that part about you screwing up everyone's lives. That was uncalled for."

"No, it wasn't." She looked up, holding back tears. "I have a habit of screwing up the things that mean the most to me."And nothing meant more to her than Avery, she knew that.

"I haven't been fair to you, and I just accused you of some pretty horrible things." Scarlett's eyes filled with regret. "I'm sorry."

She bit the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check. "You didn't really say anything that I don't already know." She knew she screwed things up. She knew she used the unfounded jealousy as a way to self-sabotage with Sean. And she knew she got what she deserved.

"But you still love him." Scarlett prodded hopefully. "And he clearly still loves you. He'll forgive you for whatever happened, I know it."

"I don't think this one will be that easy." She leaned back against the counter. "He told me he doesn't trust me anymore."

Scarlett sighed deeply, leaving a large pause before continuing. "Juliette, I'm not much for giving advice, _especially_ in relationships. Lord knows I have my own set of issues with the men in my life. But all I will say is you shouldn't let your pride or fear stop you from making things right. He _needs_ you."

But the thing was, he didn't need her. She needed _him_. But was that fair? She was self-destructive. She would always hurt him, eventually.

"You know," Juliette swallowed deeply, "Who would have ever thought that you of all people would be trying to give me advice right now?"

Scarlett laughed. "Trust me. For all the advice Avery has given me about dealing with my own pride and fear about Gunnar… I owe him."

"He does seem to hand out advice to everyone quite frequently." Juliette laughed internally, thinking of the countless times he had given her advice, even before they had gotten together. How he had always advised to her to be the better person. _Love is wanting to help someone be the best version of themselves_. The words infiltrated her heart and settled there comfortably like an old friend.

"That he does." Scarlett nodded hesitantly. "So… we're ok right?"

"I think we are." She replied, smile real and genuine. She had spent so much time and energy being jealous of the girl in front of her. The jealousy had just grown into a toxic fixation that cost her the only good thing in her life. Was it really worth it? It didn't seem like it right now.

"Well bless my soul, what a surprise to see you two in my kitchen!" A booming voice rounded the corner as Deacon entered, guitar case in hand.

Juliette's face glowed as Deacon came over and gave her a huge hug, practically lifting her off the ground. "I'm all about surprises. How was recording today?"

"Great. But knowing the owner of the place does help make things more enjoyable." He winked playfully. Rayna had signed Deacon to Highway 65 not long ago, giving him full creative control over all his original compositions. It had become the best of both worlds for them: together at work and at home.

"I'm sure Rayna would love to hear that."

"I tell her every night." He smirked. "And my little niece, I haven't seen you in a few days!"

Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Uncle Deacon, I've been in the studio. You should know, you check on me every chance you get."

"Well, someone's got to." He shrugged, hiding his smile. "Anyway, you two staying for dinner?"

Juliette looked over at Scarlett, smiling. "I think we will."

* * *

She lay in bed, letting the sun peer in, signaling the start of a new day.

_May 15__th_. She already knew the phone calls that were going to come in.

_The anniversary of her mother's death. _

Deacon and Rayna had already tried to make plans with her, pretending like they didn't know. Glenn had asked her what she was doing today already. Everyone had tried to make sure she wouldn't spend today alone.

But she had to. It was her mama right?

She got dressed and made her way over to the burial plot, taking a deep breath when her mother's tombstone came in sight. She touched the etchings of the name in the marble, tracing the "J" of _Jolene_ over and over.

"Hey Mama." She looked up in the sky, eyes closed. "I'm sorry I haven't visited in a while, things have just been…insane. Well you know right? You're watching over me so you probably know."

She sighed at the silence.

"You know, it's crazy. It's been a long time since you've been gone, and sometimes I still think I'm gonna hear your voice answer back when I ask you a question. Or when my phone rings, sometimes I think it's gonna be you. I used to dread your phone calls, asking me for money. Now, I would give anything just to hear your voice again."

She laid the flowers she brought out on the grave, loosening her tight grip on them, rubbing away the imprints they had left in her palms.

She laid down on her side, on top of the grass next to the tombstone, letting her fingers twirl in the dirt lightly. "A lot's been going on Mama. I released my new album, and it debuted at number one. Which was exciting because I got to gloat to my label head." She laughed, thinking about Jeff Fordham's smug face. "I've also been spending a lot of time at Deacon and Rayna's place, with their girls too. I've even been spending a little time with Deacon's niece, Scarlett. You remember her right? We aren't best friends, but it's nice to have someone around my age to talk to."

She sighed, hearing the soft rustle of leaves in the wind. She figured that was her cue to stop making small talk. To talk about what she really wanted to say. "Mama, I screwed up. Badly. But I know you know that too." She felt tears coming out of her eyes. Here was a place where she didn't have to hold back anything.

It was just her and Mama, their own little place.

"You and me, we always had our issues. But I was always honest with you about how I was feeling. Sometimes _too_ honest." She laughed a little, sniffling. "Mama, I think I'm messed up. I know why nobody ever wants to stick around, why people always leave me. It's me."

Flipping on to her back, she looked up at the sky as she talked. "I had someone who _really_ loved me. And I let go of it, with two hands wide open. Why do I do that?" She clenched her teeth. "Why am I like this?"

A cool breeze swept over her. "I used to blame you for all my problems. I used to tell myself my life would have been better if you had never been in it. You were always the thing I had to overcome. But it's me. I _know_ it now. I'm the real problem. I'm the one who is incapable of fully being happy, _ever_." Her sob cried out loudly. "I don't wanna be this way anymore, but I don't know what do to change it. And I wish you were here to tell me what to do." She gasped a little for breath.

"Everyone keeps telling me I should just go to him and apologize again. They keep telling me that Avery still loves me. But Mama, you and I both know… love isn't enough." Love without trust was an empty promise. "He doesn't trust me. And that means things will never be the same." Her emotions suffocated her at that thought. It was over and she knew it.

The sun shone bright over her, she could feel its warmth with her eyes closed. "Mama, I wish… I wish you could have known him while you were still here. I wish I didn't waste my time with all those other people so you could have _really_ met him. You would have loved him." She laughed, thinking about her mother and Avery interacting. "He probably would have given you some advice that would have made you think for days. Or he would have played you a song that made you fall in love with him. You could have seen how happy he makes me." She sat up, wiping the tears from her face.

"He's the one. I _know_ it. He makes me feel like me, like who I want to be. He makes me a better person. But does that always mean we are supposed to be together? I don't wanna hurt him. But also, don't I deserve to be with someone that will fully love me too and not always have doubt in the back of his mind? What kind of love is that?"

She bit her lip letting silence surrounding her steady her breathing. "I know what I need to do. I just need my heart to catch up and be alright with it."

Leaning over, she kissed the marble tombstone softly. "I love you Mama."

* * *

"Yes Glenn, I'm still alive. I'm fine." She laughed, checking on the pink macaroni setting in the oven.

"Are you sure?" She heard over the phone. His voice was worried, as usual. "I can be over there in 10 minutes if you want, with dinner."

She rolled her eyes. "Glenn, I love your concern. Really I do. But I'm alright. I'm just gonna eat my dinner, watch some crime shows, and go to bed."

"Alright sweetheart. You call me for anything, anytime. I don't care if it's at midnight. I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Yes, 10 am." She smiled. "Goodnight Glenn."

She laughed a little as she hung up the phone call with Glenn. In such a short amount of time, Glenn had become a real father to her, caring for her in a way that she didn't think was possible. She was forever grateful to him for his concern.

She pulled the pink macaroni and cheese out of the oven, seeing the cheese bubbling at the top. Definitely not something she could eat all the time, but something she had to eat today. Pouring herself a glass of merlot and some pink macaroni, she made a move towards her bedroom until she heard her doorbell ring.

It was 9 pm. Who was coming over now that wouldn't have called? Maybe Deacon was stopping by to check up on her? There's no way Glenn could have got here that fast, especially after she told him adamantly not to come.

She opened the door and her heart leapt instinctively at the face that greeted her. "Avery."

His hands dug into his pockets as he looked at her. "Hey."

She blinked a couple times, like he might disappear if she waited long enough. But every time she opened his eyes he was still there. "Do you wanna come in?"

"Sure." He cleared his throat awkwardly, crossing the doorway. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything, sorry for coming so late."

"You're not interrupting anything, it's just me." Should she hug him? Why was this so painfully awkward? This was _Avery_. In the entire history of their friendship and relationship, they had never been awkward. "How've you been? Haven't seen you in a while."

"I've been busy, you know. Work and stuff." _And avoiding you_. She heard that loud and clear, even if it was unsaid.

"Right." She smiled tightly. "Are you hungry? I was just gonna eat dinner."

He looked over at her bowl and smiled. "Pink macaroni huh?"

"Just finished making it too."

He laughed. "At least I didn't have to see you make it. Seeing the ketchup go in ruins it for me."

She rolled her eyes. "And yet you always get seconds whenever I used to make it."

"I like to eat." He said down on the stool next to where she was standing.

"Sure you do." She leaned forward playfully, moving her face closer to his. Realizing how close they were, she cleared her throat and moved back again. "So you want a bowl?"

"Sure."

She reached up, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet and pouring him some macaroni. She set it down in front of him, pouring him a glass of wine as well. Merlot was his favorite too.

"Thanks." He smiled, taking a few bites of the macaroni.

"So," she looked down at her pajamas quickly. Why hadn't she worn something nicer? "Clearly I wasn't expecting you to be here. _Why_ exactly are you here?"

He put down his fork, looking at her. "I saw the date."

_Right_.

"You too?" she crossed her arms. "Why is everyone so worried about me today? I'm fine."

"I know you are. You are more than capable of taking care of yourself." He tilted his head. "Still doesn't mean you should be alone today."

"It's silly really. Her death comes up every year. I'm fine, you don't have to babysit me." She looked away as he stared at her. He was trying to read her, she knew it. The fact that he was here in general was throwing her entire balance off. "That is why you're here, right?"

"You know," he sighed, "I'm gonna be honest. I don't really know what I'm doing here."

She stepped back. "Well then, that makes two of us."

His hand rubbed his neck slowly. "I sat outside your house for about two hours, debating whether I should come in or not."

_He had?_ "Well, clearly I didn't notice. Maybe I should have Bo do perimeter checks now." She replied cheekily, trying to cover the warm jitters she was having while he talked.

He smiled faintly before continuing. "Juliette," the way he said her name was slow and full, "Just because things… ended between us doesn't mean I don't care about you."

They locked eyes, and she could feel his presence pulling her in. He had this power over her still, and it seemed like it would never change. She hated how weak she was when it came to him.

"Well, you checked on me, I'm alright." She laughed weakly. "You can report back to Deacon now or whoever wants to know."

He looked down and smiled, and some hair fell over his eyes. It took everything in her not to reach up and push it away. "So, were you really planning on sleeping now?"

"Well, if you must know, I was planning on eating my macaroni in bed and watching crime shows."

She watched the smile break out on his face. "Your addiction to crime shows is unhealthy."

"At least it's not an addiction to art house films. Plus, on crime shows, the bad guy is always caught. There's always a happy ending." _Unlike her own story_. She grabbed her bowl off the counter, moving towards her bedroom.

She realized the move she was making. Would he follow her?

Sure enough, he trailed behind her, bowl in hand. "I will have you know that after a while you did enjoy Fellini."

" 'Enjoy' may be a stretch Avery. It's more like I got through them without falling asleep."

He feigned pain, sitting on the bed next to her, putting the now empty bowl on the nightstand next to him. "That stings."

She rolled her eyes, turning on her tv. "You better not make any comments about how these shows supposedly all have the same format."

He scoffed. "You said it, I didn't."

She narrowed her eyes. "Because every time I turn on crime shows, you always say the same thing!"

"Because it's true! Interchange the actors and all the shows blend together."

"Avery, not everything has to be a form of extreme enlightenment. Normal people watch television to be entertained."

"Why can't we be entertained _and_ enlightened, at the same time?" He looked over at her, with a playful glint in his eyes.

She cleared her throat and he looked down, breaking the banter between them as she raised the volume. She leaned back against the big cushions on her bed, shifting around to get comfortable. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him do the same.

Three episodes later with an empty bowl, she rubbed her stomach. "Pink macaroni always makes me full in a weirdly happy way."

He broke his gaze from the television, turning his head to face her. "You are always happy eating it."

"Not happy with the calories I get from it, but once in a while I have to get my fill for it." She laughed a little. It's interesting how a food could have such an effect on her, bringing her back to some of the best times of her childhood. Some of the best times with her mama. Her mind drifted while her mouth kept talking. "You know, one time, when my mama was still alive, she offered to make me pink macaroni. I don't think I ever told you this, but I freaked. I told her I didn't eat it anymore and then accused her of pawning my stuff for drugs."

The air grew oddly heavy. She remembered that day like it was yesterday. She remembered gripping her mother's purse in her hands like it was her key to salvation. It was her key to killing the bad habit that was her mother once and for all. Instead, she found the one thing that would keep her hooked on her mother for life; that glimmer of hope that she could be loved by her the way she had longed for.

He sat silent, waiting for her to finish patiently, so she continued. "I dug through her purse, looking for something, _anything_, that was stolen so I had an excuse to kick her out. God I hated her, I don't think I've ever hated anyone more in that moment. But instead, all I found was a picture of her in the hospital, with me. And then I think I stopped hating her, and just hated me instead."

"She knew you loved her." He replied calmly, letting the words travel softly. "And she loved you."

"I know she did." She whispered, closing her eyes. "I went to her grave today and talked to her. I haven't gone in so long. And I just…talked to her. I don't think I ever talked to her that much when she was alive. Sad that it took her dying for me to realize how much I needed her."

His hand gripped hers as she continued. "She was my Mama, and she was a disaster. But I get her. I'm _terrified _that I get her, but I really do. And I wanna be different than her, but I still love her for who she was beyond all the mistakes." Her cheeks were wet. "God, am I making any sense?"

"You are." He gripped her hand tighter.

"Part of me hates her still though. I had to grow up because of her. I had to experience things because of her. And I hated her for it." Her teeth grit as fury rose up in her instinctually, thinking of the pieces of her childhood that she could never take back.

"It's normal to be angry." She heard him concur, rubbing his thumb against the inside of her palm softly. "You have every right to be." She remembered lying in this very bed, telling him about one of her mother's boyfriends who had felt her up every night after her mama had been strung out on a binge. Or the time she had locked herself in her room because one of her mama's dealers had come in with a gun to get the money she owed him. He didn't need to say anything at the time. In the darkness he had just held her, pressing soft kisses in her hair, letting her tears fall on his chest.

She looked over at him and took a chance, leaning her head against his shoulder. Instead of pulling away like she thought he would, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"I just wanna know if I should feel guilty about being so conflicted about how I feel about her. Isn't it bad to harbor bad feelings for the dead, still after all this time?"

"Hey," he rubbed her shoulder, setting his chin on her head lightly. "Don't ever apologize for how you feel."

She wished she could take this moment and freeze it in time. She missed being in his arms like this. He was her safe haven, that would never change. There was no one else who knew her like he did. He knew her better than herself in some ways.

"I talked to her about you today. About us."

She could feel him stiffen a little, but his arm remained around her shoulders. "Really?"

"Yeah. I told her about how much I wish you two had known each other. Like _really_ known each other. She would have loved you." _Almost as much as I do_ was the line she bit back carefully.

"I would have loved to have gotten to know her. Her one-of-a-kind daughter couldn't have come out of thin air." She felt his chest rumble with laughter as she continued.

"I also told her…about what I did."

That statement left silence in the room.

She opened her eyes, pulling away from him to face him. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. I was just being honest about what I talked to her about today."

"Right." He nodded, clearly avoiding eye contact. "I get it."

"You don't have to stay, I know it's getting late." She fought every instinct in her body to force him to stay.

"You know, you weren't the only one that messed things up with us." Avery said with a sigh, looking down at his hands.

Her eyes flittered over his face, looking at the emotion there. "What?"

"I don't want you putting all the blame on yourself for us falling apart. I could have made different choices. I could have tried to listen to you more. A whole bunch of stuff." He ran his hand through his hair. "What I'm trying to say is it wasn't just you. It was both of us."

Her heart swelled. _How was it possible to feel so inadequate and so full of worth at the same time_? She knew what she wanted in that moment, even if she had promised herself she would do otherwise. "Why don't you just stay the night? It's getting late."

His eyes clouded over a little, and she knew she was going to lose this battle. "I can't."

"It's closer to work for you from here though." She pulled at straws. "Nothing has to happen, I swear. You can sleep in the other bedroom if you want."

"Juliette, _I can't_."

"Right." She lowered her eyes, taking in the obvious rejection.

"But I'll try not to be as much of a stranger as I have been recently." He nodded softly at her, and her heart skipped a beat. "Not being a part of each other's lives is kind of impossible. We run in pretty similar circles."

"That would be great. I missed you Avery." If she couldn't have his love, she would take his friendship. She would take him in any form she could get.

He paused, looking at her like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. Finally he spoke. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."

* * *

Thanks for reading! Hopefully the next chapter will be up faster!


	7. Chapter 7

Another chapter up! This chapter was actually fun to write, because I got to put in basically all the regulars (Deacon, Rayna, Scarlett, Gunnar, Will, Maddie, Daphne, etc). It was a lot of fun to write them all sort of friendly.

Just as a side note, the song that I reference in the Maddie scene is "The Seed", and you can hear Lennon and Maisy sing it at the Opry on youtube! Those girls are so crazy talented, I love hearing their voices!

Please read and review, I like reading what you guys liked/disliked/etc!

* * *

His hands glided across the keys, feeling the comfort of the ivory underneath his fingertips. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the rain on the window combine with the sound that the piano was letting out.

He felt small hands trail up his back, sliding up to his shoulders. He could feel the heat she was emitting through the thin material of his shirt. It was like a scorching fire.

"I'm gonna need you to handle me a little rougher than that piano." Her raspy voice rang out, shooting sparks everywhere in his body.

He went to turn around to reach her, but she kept his body stationary, instead stretching her limber legs over his so she was straddling him, situated between him and the piano.

She ground her hips hard against his, and his voice immediately responded. "You like that huh?" She bit her bottom lip playfully. She knew what she was doing to him. Leaning back against the keys a bit, she pulled off her shirt, leaving just her sheer black lace bra.

His mouth grew dry watching her breasts heave up and down, long golden hair flowing down her shoulders. It took all his restraint to not take her then and there.

"God, you are so beautiful." He lets his eyes roam over her entire body. He drank her in; her entire presence was intoxicating. He had missed this. He had missed her.

"Avery." His hands roamed over her hot tight skin, touching everywhere he could reach while pulling her closer to him. He pressed his lips roughly to hers, exploring her mouth. Her uninhibited groan shot heat straight below his waist.

She pulled his own shirt over his head, throwing it to the ground. Rocking her hips back and forth, their panting matched each other. He gripped the edge of the piano to steady himself as she gripped his shoulders. The way she called his name, full of desire and longing. It was something he would never get tired of.

His own voice cried out hers. "Juliette."

Suddenly, the rain that had been simply been background noise against the window flood inside, streaming down over his head, shocking him awake.

Covered in cold ice water, his vision cleared to see Gunnar standing over his head with a now empty cup.

He got up from his position on the couch, keeping the blanket firmly over the lower half of his body. "Was that really necessary?" He ran a hand through his soaked hair, wiping away trails of wetness that had dripped on his face.

"I could hear you from the kitchen, you were ruining my breakfast." Gunnar looked nauseous, as Avery looked down in embarrassment.

A half hour and a cold shower later, he joined Gunnar in the kitchen. He could see the smirk on Gunnar's face, and he chose to ignore it. Being caught by Gunnar having a clearly explicit dream about his ex was not how he wanted to start out any day. Ever.

"So…" Gunnar started, trying to hide the amusement in his voice.

"Don't." Avery cut him off, firm. "Just. Don't."

"Come on. You were practically yelling her name there." Gunnar bit his lip to try to hold back his laughter. "It happens to the best of us, nothing to be embarrassed about."

"And yet you find a need to tease me about it." He poured himself a glass of orange juice before sitting down at the table across from Gunnar. He had been crashing with Gunnar and Will on their couch until a vacancy opened up in his old apartment building again.

He hated the way Gunnar's face looked so smug at the moment. "At least give me another ten minutes to dwell on this."

"I don't understand what you want to dwell on. I'm sure it was all pretty obvious." And mortifying.

"Juliette Barnes keeps a guy hooked, I'm assuming."

If looks could kill, Gunnar would have been six feet under for sure.

"It was a joke, easy. No disrespect there." Gunnar stated, taking a few spoonfuls of cereal.

"You're an ass." He groaned, rubbing the palm of his hand against his forehead. "This is why I don't do roommates."

"We're not _that_ bad."

"Will's a saint. You on the other hand," He took a long sip of juice before effectively changing the subject, "If I have to see Scarlett at work in the morning and pretend that I didn't hear her sneaking out of here at 4 am…" He saw Gunnar's face go pale. "I sleep on the couch. In the living room. I hear _everything._"

In another world, this whole situation would have been entirely too awkward. But life had changed so much in such a short period of time.

Gunnar's face remained colorless at the mention of Scarlett's name. "What?" Avery inquired further. That look was much more than just being caught by him.

"Me and Scarlett… I don't know." He trailed off, playing with the edge of the table mindlessly.

"What going on with you guys anyway? I never can get a handle on it." Days go by where Scarlett would stay over every night, to some weeks like this one where she was noticeably absent. "She's been really all over the place at work lately too."

"Yeah I bet." He let out a forced laugh, his eyes darting back and forth. It was like a caged animal that was desperately trying to free itself.

He sighed. "Do you wanna tell me what's wrong or not?" He was tired of beating around the bush. There were times where he wasn't sure when he was overstepping his boundaries, considering what position he was in with Scarlett not that long ago. "If you're not ready, it's fine. But you look like you gotta tell someone before you implode."

Gunnar gripped the spoon in his cereal bowl tightly before looking up at him.

"Scarlett's pregnant."

His eyes widened, like he didn't understand what the man across from him had just said. But looking at Gunnar's face, he knew he hadn't heard wrong. "Is she, you know, _sure_?"

"She took a bunch of tests. I think she's pretty sure." Gunnar nodded rapidly.

Avery sank in his chair, letting it sink in. _Scarlett was pregnant._ "When did she tell you?"

"Last week. She came over, showed me the tests." Gunnar drummed his fingers on the table. "It was not good man."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Gunnar replied carefully, "We argued. She told me she didn't trust me enough to step up, and then I asked her if she was sure it was mine."

His jaw dropped. "You didn't."

Gunnar looked down in shame. "I did."

He rolled his eyes before continuing. "Clearly you know that wasn't the brightest move, right?"

"I know. But I couldn't help it." Gunnar looked up, and Avery felt bad for him. The guy clearly had no idea what do. "She told me she didn't think I was good enough to be the father of her child, and that I would flake out. It was just the first thing that came out of my mouth. I know it's mine."

Avery leaned forward. "Think about this. In all this back and forth between you guys, have you ever tried to make any sort of commitment? Is she really that off-base for thinking that?"

"She knows how I feel about her."

"Does she?"

Gunnar slid back in his chair, thinking carefully. "She has to know."

Avery lifted his eyebrows before continuing. "Don't assume. You may think she knows, but if she's still sneaking out of here in the morning, she clearly doesn't feel comfortable enough with whatever you have."

Gunnar's body slouched. "I thought it's what she wanted."

"Maybe you should just ask her."

"I guess." Gunnar tilted his head, looking over at him. "We just went through a lot the last time we were really together. And every time after that."

"If she tells you she doesn't want you, you gotta respect that. But you gotta ask right?"

At that, Will swung his door open, making his way quickly into the kitchen. "Guess what?" his hands moved animatedly, standing in front of both him and Gunnar expectantly.

Glancing over at Gunnar to let him know they could just continue the conversation later, he turned to Will. "What's up man?" He still didn't know Will extremely well, but as far as he could tell he seemed like a genuinely good guy. Not a lot like him in this town.

"Just got a call that I'm playing at the Nashville Music City Festival this year!"

His face broke out in a genuine smile, happy for the man in front of him. "Congrats! That's awesome."

"Yeah man, that's great!" Even Gunnar let on a little smile.

He smiled back in appreciation. "They have a bunch of big names playing, and Edgehill got me the Friday night spot right before the headliner."

"That's awesome man. We could only get Scarlett in on that Thursday, even with Rayna trying to pull some strings." His mind went back to the very first Music City Festival, playing with Juliette on stage and helping her as those protestors shook her confidence. He could still see the look of utter defeat on her face, and even then it had been his instinct to drop everything and help her.

"Yeah, well apparently Lady Antebellum pulled out of the headliner spot. Something about conflicting dates."

This was news to him. "Really? They _just_ pulled out?" The show wasn't that far away, talk about short notice.

"Who did they get to replace them?" Gunnar inquired curiously.

Will remained a little silent at that, phone still in hand.

Avery's eyes narrowed. He knew what that meant. "They asked Juliette to headline didn't they?"

Will handed over the phone wordlessly. Sure enough, Juliette's name adorned the top of the page as the newly announced headliner.

He handed back the phone to Will. "Good for her."

Gunnar and Will exchanged looks that they thought he didn't see. But he had. "You don't have to walk on egg-shells every time her name comes up."

"We're just worried about you man. You seem like you're finally you again." Gunnar replied honestly. After he and Juliette had ended things, he had spent a few nights quite drunk at the Bluebird, embarrassing himself in front of a few influential people before getting a stern talking to from Deacon and a little guidance from Gunnar to stop googling pictures of Juliette and Sean.

"I appreciate the concern, but we do see each other sometimes, you know. I'm fine." Ever since his last visit to her house, he had remained true on his word on not purposely ignoring her anymore. They saw each other here and there, once when she had come by the studio to pick up Scarlett and a few times at Deacon and Rayna's house. He was anticipating seeing her later today at Daphne's birthday party. It was just something he had to get used to.

"Right." There were the exchanged looks of pity again.

* * *

"Anything else I can do?" Juliette asked, pouring the tortilla chips in the large bowl.

Grabbing a chip out of the bowl, Rayna popped it in her mouth before answering. "Just bring those outside on the patio table. Other than that, I think we're good."

"Just let me know if anything else needs to be done, I'm here to help." Juliette smiled.

"Seriously, I think I have everything under control, so don't worry about it." Rayna smiled in gratitude. " Thanks for all your help."

"Of course." This family was the closest to a real family she had. Any way she could participate was a chance she would jump at in any capacity. Shaking crumbs off her hands, she looked through the patio doors to see Daphne and her friends racing each other in the backyard, while Deacon was at the grill cooking burgers and hot dogs with Rayna talking quietly next to him.

Her eyes almost burned at how beautiful the entire picture was.

She was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of shattering glass.

"Damn it." She saw Scarlett kneel down, trying to pick up the large shards with her hands.

"Don't pick them up with your hands, you'll cut yourself." Juliette reached under the sink and pulled out the dustpan, sweeping up the glass quickly. "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright, I guess I just need to be more careful." Scarlett's eyes were red-rimmed; she could see it clearly. "Thanks for helping me clean this up."

"No problem." She treaded the conversation carefully. "Scarlett, are you alright?" She hadn't seen the young girl in a while, and it was clear there was something going on.

Crouched on the kitchen floor still next to where the glass had been broken, Scarlett stretched her legs, leaning back against the kitchen island cabinets. "It's been a hard week."

"Scarlett, you look like you've had a week from hell." Scarlett's hair looked like it hadn't been brushed in a few days, and her overall appearance just looked disheveled and worn.

"I guess I have." Juliette saw the girl's eyes fill with tears. "I guess hard week is an understatement."

"Anything I can do to help?" she placed a hand on the girls forearm, rubbing it reassuringly.

"I don't think anyone can help me with this one." Scarlett choked back a quick sob. "Juliette, I'm pregnant."

The world stood still.

"I'm sorry, what?" Juliette pulled back in shock.

"That was pretty much my reaction after ever pregnancy test I took."

Her head spun. "You know, sometimes those tests aren't accurate."

"I'm pretty sure after twenty tests of the same reading, I have to believe it." She laughed a little through her tear filled eyes. "Plus I went to the doctor today and he confirmed it."

Juliette glanced around to see who else was in the kitchen with them. It seemed like everyone else was outside enjoying the party, so she continued their conversation in hushed tones. "When are you planning on telling Gunnar?"

"I did."

"And?" She prodded further.

"He asked me if I was sure he was the father." A tear slipped out of her eye as she hugged her legs to her chest.

"He's an idiot." Juliette bit her tongue to keep from saying more. Despite how she felt about Gunnar in that moment, Scarlett did seem to love him despite his tendency to screw things up.

"Yeah well, he's an idiot who is the biological father to this kid" Her breath came out short. "I can't believe this is happening to me."

"Hey," Juliette slid over so they were sitting side by side. "I know you and I haven't always been each other's biggest fans, but you don't have to worry about this one. You have people in your corner, including Gunnar. He'll come around."

"Thanks." She whispered out in gratitude, sniffling. "Gunnar's been calling me all day, leaving messages. I just can't get myself to listen to any of them."

"You should." Juliette nodded in support. "Actually better yet, go over and hear what he has to say in person. Sometimes people do things in the heat of the moment that they regret. He might want to apologize to you."

"I probably owe him a couple of apologies as well." Scarlett looked down in shame. "You think I should go over there now?"

"You'll never know what he has to say unless you give him the chance to say it right?" Juliette smiled reassuringly.

"Right." Scarlett took a deep breath in, gaining courage. "Can you tell Rayna and Deacon that I had to run? I left Daphne's birthday present on the table."

"Of course." Juliette smiled, squeezing the timid girl's hand tightly. "Good luck."

She watched Scarlett race out the door, as she continued to sit and soak the entire conversation in. _Scarlett was pregnant._ Whatever decision they came to, it would change her and Gunnar forever. Bringing a kid into the world did that.

Rubbing her thighs before getting up, she grabbed the chip bowl and walked outside to the patio table, sitting down quietly on one of the empty chairs, trying to remain unnoticed. So much of her life had been a struggle to be recognized and noticed, that moments where she could just sit back and observe were some of the most calming. That realization had only come with age and maturity, both of which she was grateful for.

She closed her eyes, soaking in the bright Tennessee sun, breathing in the honeydew air. The sound of the kids playing in the background and the laughter of the adults together created the fullest sound she had ever heard, more beautiful than any chord she could ever put in any song.

"Hey."

Her eyes shot open. "Avery. Hey."

He tentatively sat in the chair next to her. "I didn't mean to interrupt, you can go back to closing your eyes."

"No, it's alright." She straightened her back, sitting up straight. "When did you get here?"

"I've been here for like a half hour. Deacon was trying to explain to me how to use his new grill that he bought for today."

She let out the laugh she was trying to hold back.

"What?" He asked curiously, hiding the smile that was breaking on his face at her laugh.

"Avery, you are _so_ not a grill type of person." She let out a few short laughs at the thought.

He smirked. "What's that supposed to mean? I can grill."

"I'm sure you can, I just can't picture it. You're a takeout kind of guy."

"I can cook Juliette."

She rolled her eyes in amusement. "Just because you can cook better than me doesn't qualify you as a master in the kitchen."

"Fine." He sighed in agreement. "I guess I'm going to learn, Deacon told me to come over next week so he can teach me how to use it. I didn't know how to say no."

"You know Deacon, once he has his mind set on something he's excited about, he needs _everyone_ to be excited with him."

"Right." They both laughed a little together, watching Rayna hand Deacon the beef patties to grill. "At least Rayna knows how to deal with him."

"After all this time, I think she knows him better than he knows himself." She smiled, looking at their small interactions. There was something about the way Rayna and Deacon moved around each other in a level of security and peace. They knew it was right, and everyone else could see it too.

He cleared his throat a little, breaking her gaze. "I saw you and Scarlett talking in the kitchen earlier. Where did she go?"

She leaned back the patio chair heavily. "She had to leave. I don't think she was feeling too well."

"Right. Did she say where she was going though?" Avery inquired further, causing her to raise her eyebrow.

"I think she may have went to see Gunnar." She pursed her lips, watching his facial expressions.

He nodded quickly, lost in thought a little. She could see his thought process going.

"So..." she paused a little before continuing, "You know, don't you? I'm guessing Gunnar told you?"

"And I'm guessing Scarlett told you."

The unsaid word, hanging between them. _Pregnant._

"Yeah, she did just now. She went over to talk to him again."

He sighed, grabbing a chip from the bowl, chewing it slowly. "At least that's a start. They have a lot to talk about."

"So Gunnar told you?"

He nodded. "Yeah, this morning. I'm still processing it all to be honest."

She pushed down the instinctive jealousy that rose. No matter how close she would ever get to Scarlett, a part of her would always know that she was the first person Avery saw himself spending the rest of his life with. "I think they just need to talk it out. There seems to be a lot of miscommunication between them."

"You know, I told Gunnar the same thing this morning." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I was going to talk to Scarlett here and tell her the same, but I'm glad you did. Probably came better from you."

"Yeah, she seemed _really _out of it." She nodded, pulling away from gazing into Avery's eyes right in front of her. "Who would have ever thought that _I_ of all people would be the one to be giving advice?"

He frowned. "Why not you?"

She raised her eyebrows. _Because I'm a trainwreck_. "Oh you know, just past examples." She kept her voice light. "I guess years of getting advice from people has finally sunk in."

He leaned back, not breaking eye contact with her still. "Well, we were quite an advice giving tag team today it seems."

"That we were." Her heart leapt a little at the way he looked at her. "It's just still crazy to me that Scarlett is pregnant."

"I know." He nodded, sighing again.

"I mean, is she ready to have a kid? Is Gunnar?" She inquired. "Having a kid is a huge responsibility."

"Scarlett's definitely going to have to take time off, which I'm sure Rayna wouldn't mind letting her do." He rubbed his chin a little. "Gunnar's got his new publishing deal, so I don't know."

"You make time for what's a priority. If the baby is a priority and they wanna have it, they'll make it work." She gazed over at Daphne and her friends shrieking in laughter. Their carefree nature made her heart burst. _She wanted that_. The thought hit her hard, knocking the wind out of her.

"You alright?" Avery asked worried, placing his hand softly on her arm.

"Yeah, I just got lost in thought." She pulled her arm away from his grasp, pushing her hair behind her ear. "My thoughts have just been roaming to places they shouldn't be."

"Tell me about it." She heard him mumble, clearly referring to something she didn't know. Before she could ask him to explain, he continued. "Wanna share?"

They had been talking so nicely for the first time in forever. She didn't want to ruin it by bringing up a topic like wanting children. "It's nothing really." She remembered when she had asked him to stay the night of the anniversary of her mother's death, and he had shut down immediately. Causing him to backtrack on their conversation was the last thing she wanted right now. It didn't mean she couldn't daydream about chasing around a little girl with her hair and his eyes.

"Alright." She could see he wanted to push her to explain, but he was holding back. "If you say so."

"Are you two hungry?" Deacon interrupted, walking over with a plate piled with burgers. "I wanna give it to the adults before the kids come over and devour everything."

She smiled over at him, raising her hands in appreciation. "Deacon, I've been starving since I got here, and you have offered me no food yet."

He rolled his eyes, throwing a burger on her and Avery's plates. "As if you don't raid my kitchen every time you come here and steal all my peanut butter cookies."

She grinned at him, pushing her shoulders out playfully. "Find a better hiding spot for them then."

He rolled his eyes at her, calling the kids over for food. Daphne came straight over and sat herself right in Juliette's lap, talking animatedly to her friends. She could tell a few of Daphne's friends were a little taken aback at Juliette Barnes being at the same party as them, but if Daphne noticed she didn't let on. She let her legs swing underneath the table, talking to her friends about some kid in school who brought his frog to class.

She pulled Daphne's body back to more securely fit on her legs, wrapping her arms around the young girl's tiny waist. Daphne leaned back against her chest softly, still not breaking conversation with her friends.

"Hurry up Daphne, let's play tag!" one of the young girls urged. Daphne took a few huge bites of her burger, scarfing it down.

"Hey," she craned her head towards Daphne's. "Slow down, otherwise you're gonna get a stomachache." She smiled, pulling the plate away from the young girl. "The food will be here when you get back, I'll make sure no one throws it away."

"Promise?" the young girl held out her pinky.

She crossed pinkies, sealing the deal. "Promise."

Daphne's smile in response was infectious, and Juliette couldn't help but smile back as the young girl jumped off her lap to run after her friends who were already playing on the grass.

She turned to see Avery staring at her. "What?" She looked at him, confused.

"Nothing." He averted his eyes, still smiling. "It's just nice seeing you with her."

"Well, it helps that she is adorable." She smiled back. She was doing a lot of that today.

"Hi Maddie!" Daphne's small voice let out from the distance. Sure enough, the lanky teenager walked in, guitar in hand.

A chorus of greetings rounded the table at Maddie's arrival. Juliette let out a small wave.

"I hate to break up this party, but I need help with the last part." She turned to Deacon, sitting down next to him with her guitar.

"You sure you don't want Juliette's help over there?" He looked at her in a fake annoyance she knew he didn't mean.

Rayna looked at Deacon, rolling her eyes at his childishness while Juliette raised her hands in surrender. "She asked for you, didn't she? Plus I'm only a help with the lyrics."

Deacon grabbed the songbook from Maddie's hand. "Alright, play me what you got."

This was her favorite part. She loved seeing Maddie compose and get lost in the music. The girl's pure talent was astounding to watch. Maddie strummed, closing her eyes and singing the lyrics she had. Even though Juliette knew most of them, it still was amazing to watch Maddie pull the song together through her strong and pure voice.

And then it stopped. "That's all I got. I need help with the end." Maddie whined, strumming the strings restlessly.

"Can I see your lyrics Maddie?" Avery piped in, curious. "I might be able to help."

Maddie smiled, handing over the songbook to Avery quickly. "It needs something at the very end, but I just can't figure out the lyrics I want there."

Juliette watched as Avery read over the lyrics, humming the chord progression Maddie had just played. The way his eyes crinkled, focused on the entire picture that was laid out on the songbook in front of him. His fingers trailed over the edges of the page, tapping the tempo carefully as his mind read through the lyrics again.

He had it. She knew it.

"How about," he moved the songbook closer to Maddie so she could see, "You move this verse towards the end? The lyrics are great to close with. And then repeat those two lines at the end, with a lower chord progression." He turned to Deacon. "You mind getting your guitar from inside?"

"Don't worry, I'll grab them for you two." Rayna interjected, already moving inside to get them.

Juliette knew she should get up to help Rayna, but she was glued to her seat at the scene in front of her.

Maddie's nose wrinkled a little. "I don't know, I kind of like the idea of keeping that verse in the middle."

Avery looked at the lyrics laid out again, thinking. "How about we try it in the middle, but no music behind it? And then keep the second verse at the end?"

"You want me to sing the verse acappella?"

He nodded, smiling at the thought. "It will put people on edge, really make them pay attention to the lyrics."

Rayna handed Avery a spare guitar and handed Deacon his own, as Maddie contemplated. "I think I like that."

"Well let's try it." Avery pulled the strap over his head securely. "You ready?"

Deacon nodded in response, motioning to Maddie for both of their instruments to come in. Avery's strumming came in later, filling in the gaps between.

As Maddie's voice came in, the full sound almost took Juliette's breath away. Both Deacon and Avery pulled back, letting the young girl's voice take prominence. And when it got to the acappella portion, her eyes filled with tears at the lyrics.

_There is nothing more than love _

_Every soul must part _

_But we can have eternity _

_When we look with our hearts _

As they strummed the final chord, an air of silence fell over the table. They all knew the magic in that song right there.

"Well," Rayna broke the silence first, "I may just have to buy the rights to that song from you sweetheart." She rubbed her daughter's back affectionately.

"Thanks Avery." Maddie turned and gave him a big smile. "I think I love the placement of everything now. It wasn't fitting together before, but I think it does now."

"My pleasure." He nodded warmly towards Maddie. "It's getting late, I think I should probably head out now." He got up, and Juliette's heart sank. She didn't want him to leave, not just yet.

"I probably should head out too." She stretched up out of her seat, as they both said their goodbyes to everyone there.

She went over to kiss Daphne on the cheek lightly, and wrapped her arms around Maddie in a big hug. "Call me when you two are free, you can come stay at my house for the weekend."

Maddie's face shone. "We'd love that! I'll ask my mom when we can."

She nodded, looking over at the door to see Avery waiting for her to walk out. Saying her final goodbyes, she walked side by side with Avery out to her car. "You know, you don't have to walk me to my car door. Yours is right there." They walked close enough that their hands brushed.

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't walk a girl to her car door?" He replied cheekily, as she opened the door but didn't step in. "You know, you really are great with Maddie and Daphne. They look up to you a lot." He looked at her proudly.

She leaned against the open car door, titled her head up at him and smiling. "They give me the opportunity to be a big sister. It's kind of cool."

"You're a natural at it." He smiled before continuing. "Also, I meant to tell you earlier, congratulations on the headliner spot at the Music Festival. Just read about it this morning."

"Thanks, I'm excited about it. I'm sure it will be great." _Anything was probably better than the last music festival she played at. Although at that one she had him to save her_. "Will you be there?" She tried to push down the hopefulness in her voice.

"I don't know. Depends on a few things." He shifted his feet, pushing his pockets in his hands.

Her heart fell a little. "Well, hopefully I'll see you there. Pretty much everyone in Nashville will be there." _Except the one person she really wanted there, apparently. _

"Yeah, well hopefully I can make it." He smiled tightly. "It was nice seeing you tonight Juliette."

She leaned forward a little, looking up at him. "It was nice seeing you too." Even just being in his presence made her remember how much of her life he was integral to. "It was nice just hanging out like this."

"It was." He nodded, but she could see the distance between them. "Have a good night?"

"Yeah, you too." She replied weakly, watching him walk away towards his car. Her heart lurched seeing his back towards her. He was slipping out of her grasp. She could feel it.

As soon as she saw him enter his car, her feet acted on their own, running after him and slamming on his window for him to get out.

He quickly got out, confused. "Is everything ok?"

Her head spun as she spit out her next words. "Do you still love me?"

She could see his entire body clench. "What?"

"You heard me." She stood strong. "Do you still love me or not?"

He leaned back. "Juliette…"

"Please. I _need_ to hear it once, and that's it."

He shifted his weight. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Well I do. I'm tired of pretending we're strangers." Anger coursed through her veins. "Since when do we make small talk like we just did? Just talk to me straight Avery. You've never beat around the bush with me before, why are you starting now?"

The sun had long set and they were still outside of Deacon and Rayna's house, but she didn't care. She would wait all night if she had to. She had to hear his response.

He was still silent. And she hated it.

"God damn it Avery." Her eyes burned in anger. "Tell me you don't love me, and I can move on."

"Is that what you want?" His eyes looked up at her carefully. "To move on?"

"I want the truth. I want you to tell me the reason you aren't going to come to the Music Festival is because you can't bear to see the sight of me. I want you to tell me that you hate what I did, and that you can't ever forgive me." She pleaded.

He rubbed his hand on his neck slowly. "I can't do that."

"You can't do what?" She pushed. Still silence in response. "You know what, screw you Avery Barkley." She could feel her pain rising up in her chest. "You keep giving me hope every time you don't say anything, and then you take it away. How can you not see that's worse than telling me you hate me?" Her heart clenched as she forced the words out.

"I'm not trying to hurt you." He let out carefully, eyes flittering over her face. "Honestly. The last thing I want to do is hurt you." His hands moved out like they wanted to reach her, but he kept them close to his own body instead.

"Doesn't change the fact that you are." She slid her hands in her back pockets, looking down.

"Juliette," he started, moving a step closer towards her. "I'm still here for you, as your friend. I just can't be more. Not right now."

Her eyes flashed to earlier today, watching Daphne, Maddie, Deacon and Rayna interact. A perfect family unit. Her heart ached for that. "I tried to pretend that I was fine with just being friends. But I'm not. We can't just go from what we were back to being friends. It doesn't work that way Avery."

His eyes slid down. She could tell he felt the same way. They knew too much about each other to slide into an uncomfortable friendship. It was a disservice to who they were, together and apart.

"I don't know when it happened, but you became my family Avery." And it was true. He had become her constant, and it had only taken losing him to realize that she had everything she had ever wanted with him. "I saw my future with you, and I can't handle having you in my life if you are going to hold back on me." Her eyes filled with tears but she held them back. "I deserve better than that."

And she did. She deserved to be loved by a man who saw her as someone worth loving. He had taught her that.

"You do." He quickly agreed. He moved closer to her but she put her hands between them, creating distance. Glancing at her hands between them, he moved back again. "I'm not trying to play with your emotions. I'm just trying to figure out my own right now." She could see the turmoil in his eyes.

Screw self control, she had to move closer to him. Tentatively moving towards him, she looked in his eyes to see if he would object, but he was steady. Her small hands lifted, gripping the edge of his button down shirt lightly. She felt his hands softly rest on her hips, and they stood there silently. She nuzzled her face deeper into his chest, taking in his scent. Resting his chin comfortably on top of her head, she could feel his calm breathing. He loved her still. She could feel it in every part of her; he didn't have to say anything.

"Is this how its going to be between us?" She heard him call out softly, breaking the sanctity of the quiet moment they were in. "Never able to move on, never able to be together?"

She pulled away, looking at him carefully. "I don't know. You tell me."

He looked down. "I don't want to promise you something I can't give. Like you said, you deserve better."

"I'm sorry for the lying, and for everything else. I'm sorry for how I hurt you." She probably could count the amount of times she had truly apologized, and most of them were to Avery. He was one of the only people that could bring that out of her.

"I know you are. Really." He nodded softly. "We don't need to go back to this."

"I would do anything to take it back, but I can't." She continued, ignoring his comment. She had to get this all out, and then get the hell out of there. "And I know you can't trust me anymore, and that we don't have a future together. But I just need you to know that."

Not looking at his face, she turned on her heel, walking quickly back to her car before he could say anything else.

"Juliette." He heard him call from behind her, but she didn't stop.

She slammed her car door shut, resting her head on the steering wheel to calm her breath before driving away.

She probably should have been more embarrassed at how pathetically desperate she had just been. Juliette Barnes didn't beg for a man to tell her he loved her, ever. But she couldn't bring herself to care at the point.

He still loved her. And she had yet to decide whether that made things easier or worse.

* * *

Not much left to go on this story, it's coming to a close soon! The Music Festival will be the next chapter (and probably the final one!)


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